So much for the lamb theory

You often hear it said that March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb. Well, if memory serves they got the lion thing right, but the end of March hasn't displayed a single shred of lamb-iness in my little corner of the world.

I will say that this last weekend of March did start off great.

Friday night we went out to dinner with Hubs' colleagues (who picked up the tab, which was very nice). We went to Brant House and I felt like I was living the downtown diva super swank lifestyle all over again! It was nice to be out, but man, later that night was I ever glad to get home! It had already been a long week and going out on Fridays kills me now!

Saturday we got up early so I could drop Hubs off at the GO station. He had a big trade show he was working at the convention centre so it made more sense to take the train than drive. I dropped off library books on the way home, went to the grocery store, cleaned the house a bit, hopped into the shower, then my mom and sister picked me up for a girlie day out.

We went to a little store here in town that I like, then to Red Lobster for lunch which I'll never say no to. We then headed up to the Jeanne Lottie warehouse sale and my mom bought me a bag I have been coveting for a while. So I didn't spend any money! Good diva, very good diva.

Then I got home, cleaned a bit more, and a good friend came over for dinner. We then met up with a bunch of other wb gals, ate bad food, almost burned her condo down during Earth Hour, and watched Ghost. I got home at 1am and passed out.

Sunday it was nice to sleep in a bit. As I came downstairs, I noticed that Pekoe, the youngest of my three cats, was lying on the carpet by the window. He's usually a very skittish guy, so you walk near him and he bolts. So I walked gingerly past him so I could open the blinds, and he didn't run away. I bent down to pet him and again, he didn't run away. Instead he cried out in pain and I knew something was wrong.

Long story short, hours later we took him to the emergency vet and his entire urinary tract was blocked. They drained his bladder, but it was full of blood and crystals, so he was really sick. They could treat it, but there was a good chance it would happen again, and he'd need to be in the vet hospital for at least 48 hours with IV etc etc, and it would cost over $3,000.

Yeah.

So we spoke to the vet more and I asked realistically what his chances were of getting better and she said they were 50/50. I asked what would happen if we just tried antibiotics etc and went from there, and she didn't think he would live for another 24 hours but would die a painful death. God. So I had to make a terrible decision and ultimately we had to put him down.

The vet was awesome, she made me feel okay about the decision and told me I wasn't a terrible human being (that's all I could say over and over and over again) but it still sucked. Thank god she was nice though, 'cause had it been anyone else it would have been even harder if that's possible. In the end, I left the office with an empty cat carrier and $600 less in my meager savings account.

Sigh.

So today I'm all puffy from crying all night and I didn't get any sleep so I'm exhausted too. Of course it's grey and drizzling and just plain nasty, which doesn't help but sure does fit the mood.

I'm going to watch the Bachelor and head to bed. Here's hoping tonight I finally get some sleep.

Is March over yet? 'Cause it sure seems like the lambs are still screaming.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

I'm not an addict, baby

Well, that's not true. I guess I kinda am.

Hello, my name is divajen, and I'm a smidge addicted to Guitar Hero.

Sad, isn't it? I'm almost 35 years old and I keep coming up with creative ways to borrow it from my brother in law so I can play my fingers off. No, I don't own it myself - see yesterday's post on attempting to be fiscally responsible - but you can bet your butt it's on my birthday list. Even if my birthday isn't until August.

I've only recently discovered that I can wait for stuff. But fret not, I'm still an instant gratification girl at heart. I just don't have the budget to keep that particular habit up.

My brother in law and sister went away for the long weekend, so while at their home to drop off the kids' Easter presents on Wednesday, I convinced him to loan me his precious Guitar Hero.

And here we are, a full week later, and I still have it. Wondrous.

I think it helps that he recently bought Rockband, and Guitar Hero (II, no less) is but a distant memory.

I've managed to get five stars on every song on Easy, and almost every one on Medium. I was rocking out like a mad fiend, with 200+ note streaks at 95%. Hells yeah.

Then I hit Hard.

Sweet merciful crap, they weren't kidding! It's freaking tough! I can barely get through the first few songs without being booed off stage. How to knock a diva off her self-created pedestal.

Apparently my fingers don't move as fast as my brain, but more importantly, my brain doesn't move as fast as that scrolling screen. I crash and burn with the best of them.

So this is how I'm attempting to de-stress tonight. Had a simple meal, caught up on some crappy tv, and I am now off to tackle a few Hard choices before I head to bed.

Rock on, sistahs! Rock on. And wish me luck!

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

This too shall pass...

It's one of those days.

I'm ready for it to be done. I'm ready to be back to my old self. I'm ready for spring to come and the snow to stop and things to finally start going my way.

I'm ready.

I said, I'm ready, dammit!

So why don't the things I'm ready for actually happen!? Argh.

Today sucked. I've got the weirdest hormonal things going on right now so I spent the entire day close to tears. And covered with a very strange chest acne that I can't even begin to describe or explain. Seriously. I am oddly speckled from the top of my boobs, all the way up my neck and behind my ears.

Seriously. How freaky weird/gross is that?

It's not a new soap or product...this is something weird that happens to me at some point in my cyclical hormonal progression. I get it all the time - but never to this degree. We're talking maybe 5-10 spots in a normal go. This time, there are easily ten times that.

Blech. Can't wear most of my tops. Am resorting to turtleneck sweaters and scarves. Looks like I'm trying to hide some super nasty love bite Hubs gave me in my sleep.

But enough about my oddly speckled boobiledge.

What a shitty day all around. Add to the hormonal fun the continued financial pressures that keep pushing down on my gut and a disgustingly cold, dreary, gray, rainy/snowy day, and I was one cranky princess this March 25th.

Yes, financial pressures. Despite the fact that Hubs and I have a more than decent household income, we're really feeling the pinch these days, especially since we now need to save for some seriously big things in our life, namely in vitro fertilization and buying out our car.

Double blech.

I haven't really talked much about the need for us to move to IVF, but I guess I'm ready now. We had the chat with the clinic just after we got back from Cuba and they suggested that we go for it. That we've waited long enough, that the chances for success are just that much higher, and that other stuff just doesn't seem to be working. So why waste any more time and money?

Makes sense. In a very general way, that is. But when you consider that IVF will cost us about $8,000 (not including drugs) you can see how the financial stuff starts to add up. And quickly.

Could we get a loan to pay for it? Probably. But that doesn't help the bigger picture - the one that has us already saddled with a good amount of consumer debt that we were hoping to work hard to pay off. Over time. So what do we do?

I'm almost 35 so it's not like we can take lots of time to save, ya know? We've been playing this game for so freakin long I just want to finally have something work. 'Cause I just don't want to have to go through this (the mental 'this' that I live every very emotional day of my non-pregnant life) any longer than I absolutely have to.

Le sigh.

I'm sure everything will look better in the morning. That if I take the time to examine our finances and how we can make things work best for us, I'll start to feel better, more in control. That with a bit of sleep and maybe some sunlight, my outlook might start to rosy-up.

It's like I've told myself about a thousand times today...this too shall pass.

I'll take any good saving/debt reduction tips you oh so brilliant gals have to offer. Thanks in advance to one and all!

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?