So yeah.

We're cancelled.

You may have figured this out by now.

Or you may have read about it elsewhere.

Regardless, it's true. Cancelled. Try again. Better luck next time.

Blech.

So here's a picnic. Since the meds didn't work quite right, we have to clear things out in an attempt to get ready to start anew.

Okay. Fun!

Basically I was told to give myself the 'trigger' shot, the special cocktail of hormonal goodness that forces ovulation. I've taken this drug a bunch of times for other cycles we've done in the past and it was no sweat. Out popped the egg, maybe two, that had been growing thanks to the medication, and on we went.

But not this time.

Oh no.

You see, while the medication balance for the cycle wasn't quite right for me, I still did develop a number of eggs. They may not have matured entirely, but they were big enough that they needed to go.

All 11 of them.

Yes, you read that right. I had 11 follicles developing, and the trigger shot ensured that they vacated the premises en masse.

Ever been punched in the ovaries before?

Me neither, but I now can relate to those that have. Fuck.

It's getting better now, thankfully. But ouchie ouch ouch, it hurt something fierce.

The silver lining in all of this is that now I get to do some fun things in August that might otherwise have remained on the back burner.

For example, Hubs, DeeDee and I can go to my sister's place in Waterloo this long weekend. I can drink. I can go in their pool. All things I would not have been able to do had things gone ahead as planned.

And I can drink. Did I mention that? Hehe. Yes, I realize it's somewhat sad to take so much pleasure in being able to drink, but cut me some farking slack, yo. I have to get through this somehow, and if a POMtini or two puts a smile back on my face, it's worth it.

Just ask Hubs, it would most certainly be worth it.

I'll also be able to drink for my 35th birthday, now merely three flippin weeks away. It would have been hard enough without alcohol, but hell, I would have been pregnant if this had worked, so I would have found a way to be okay with it.

Now, I can get blotto and not worry. Good times.

Sorry I haven't been around these past few days, but it's been hard. So much that I've wanted to say, yet so much time spent in limbo waiting for phone calls and confirmations of the worst. At the same time, I've been trying to focus on the good things in my life so that I can retain the already tenuous grip I have on sanity right now.

I'm walking one heck of a tightrope, folks. And seeing as I have the grace of a water buffalo, it's going to take all of my strength just to stay upright.

Thanks for keeping me steady.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

Bitterness, thy name is diva

Well holy fuck.

Pardon the profanity, but I'm really pissed at the universe. Again.

Quel surprise.

I'm just damned sick and tired of being infertile and being crapped on by the babydust bitch.

That little tramp decided she'd left me alone for far too long and so today, she pulled up in her scuzzy paneled van and threw a flaming bag of poo at my doorstep.

And it stinks.

Yes, we're back in fertility land. I've kept a bit quiet about it because it's been awhile and I'm really trying to not have it dominate my entire being as it has in the past. And I had been doing a somewhat decent job of it.

Until lately.

So yeah, things aren't going according to plan. Which sucks hairy ass, 'cause as we started this whole thing, we were told that we were going into it with ideal conditions.

And no one had ever said that to us before, so you can imagine how we clung to that like a lifeline.

Well, now it appears as though we're drowning, and someone's yanked our precious floatation device right out from underneath us.

Bitterness, today thy name is most indeed diva.

Now, I should say that all hope is not lost. We're not completely out yet. But it really is looking that way. So I've done my crying (not all of it, I'm sure - but I do need to rehydrate in order to actually get my body to produce new tears) and I'm in my angry, bitter phase.

I do hope it's all for nothing, and that tomorrow I look like a real stupid diva for getting all riled up over what might actually never materialize. I'd happily take back this post and all the crappy things I said about the universe if she actually comes through for us just this one time.

Pretty please, Ms Universe. I've tried to be good. I've tried to be nice. I've even tried to be patient. But we've waited so long, spent so much and come so far, I'm just not prepared for this to be over already, ya hear?

Pretty please with sugar on top.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

My mother in law

Ah, the much maligned mother in law.

Some mothers in law make you nuts. Some make you angry. Some make terrible, inappropriate comments. Some make you feel like you'll never be a part of the family. Some make you cringe every time you have to set foot in their home. Some make you feel like you must deliver a grandchild (or seven) in the next year. Preferably less.

As for me? My mother in law?

She makes me....jewelery.

That's right! I totally lucked out in the in law department. I believe I've mentioned this before but it certainly bears repeating. I got plain stinking lucky. And not just because she makes me cool stuff.

I've got two fab sisters in law and a mother in law that, besides never doing any of the nasty things I outlined above, has recently taken up jewelery making.

And the woman is a wiz with beads!

She's emptied out every bead store within a gazillion mile radius, and sweet holy crap the stuff she puts together! I'm seriously impressed! And you know it takes a goodly deal to impress this diva in the accessories department!

I've snapped some photos of but a few of the goodies she's compiled. Some specifically with me in mind, and others, well...I've snagged them from her massive bag of possibilities.

So far, she's made more than 150 sets. Most are necklaces and earrings, some are necklaces alone, and some include bracelets.

And they're all pretty freaking sweet!

Take a peek! Apologies for the crappy photography - don't have the super duper camera that would really do all of these justice. Someday though!!




Anyway, gives you a pretty decent idea of what she can do. Now is that impressive or what?

And the crazy thing is she has over 150 sets of these all done and ready to go.

But what to do now? We'd love to find a way to set her up so she can make a bit of money off of all her hard work. We've tossed around eBay but that's a challenge since she's not a fan of the computer. I think she might bunk with a friend at her local flea market and see if she can make some headway there.

Regardless of what she wants to do next, it's just so cool to see her get into something she loves and that she's truly good at. I just had to show off all her hard work!

Yep, truly hit the jackpot this time. Lucky, lucky diva.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?