Thursday, 9 April 2009

Emerging from hibernation


Forgive me readers, for I have sinned.

It's been way too long, well over a month, since my last post.

But I have an excuse - I've been hibernating.

I think the bears have it right. Snuggling up into a cave to sleep out the winter sounds like something I could really get behind. If you've read my posts of winters past, you know how I feel about that blasted season. I am no fan. Sure, I enjoy the holidays and that first winter's snowfall, but it all gets old. Fast.

Especially when you're standing outside on a concrete platform, exposed to all the elements, waiting for a GO train that will never come because the switches are frozen. Or the signals don't work. Or there's some random equipment problem.

Yes winter, I detest thee.

It's also been not the most uplifting of times in my life. My last post was the day before the embryo transfer for our first attempt at a frozen cycle. Well, it didn't work. Not one bit. All that hope, energy and money, down the drain. Back to square one. Not a happy diva.

And so I viscerally comprehend the concept of hibernation.

I hibernate quite well when I'm down, upset at the universe. I like to be at home, can't wait to get to bed, and don't really do much of anything. I'm proud to say that I still find a way to haul my carcass to the gym etc, but I'm just not my regular dynamic self when I'd rather be hibernating.

In order to keep myself busy and distracted (two very good things when your world comes crashing down) I've devoted a good portion of my free time to getting Hubs' birthday present together. I can't go into too much detail here at the moment, 'cause while he says he doesn't read the blog regularly and I totally believe him, I'd be uber pissed at myself if the secret got out because of my stupidity. So I'll fill y'all in mid-May once his birthday passes.

Other than that it really is business as usual - or what everyone's referring to as the 'new normal'. Still waiting for Hubs to find out about school, still living paycheque to paycheque like everyone else, still thinking of ways we can cut back in an attempt to save. I'm sure most of you can, unfortunately, relate to at least one of those things. Good times, eh? Sigh.

Work is going well so no complaints there. And the extra long weekend is just around the corner, the mere thought of which is the only thing that's kept me going these past few days.

It's sunny again - and sunny makes me happy. We have four different colours of crocus in our garden, and that makes me happy. We're having Hubs' family over on Saturday and we always have a good time - so that makes me happy. We have the rest of the long weekend to ourselves - and that makes me very happy. I have to find a dessert recipe to make for Saturday night. That makes me a smidge stressy, but hopefully it'll all turn out, people will love it and yes, that will make me happy.

Last weekend we had a girls night in and man oh man, do I have a great group of gal pals or what? I LOVE that we can all show up at 7pm and do nothing but eat and talk until well after 1am. No silences, no awkward pauses, no need for activities or something on tv to keep our attention - we just chat about our lives, the people we love and the ones we love to hate (ha!), and are just really there for each other. Yes, our girls nights always make me happy.

So now that spring truly does seem to be here, I'm rubbing the metaphoric sleep from my eyes, stretching my arms wide, and emerging, blinking in the sunlight, into spring.

And more importantly, back into my life.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?




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