Baby Mama?

Interesting title, I know. It works in two ways - one, because for the first time in, uh, ever, I have a real shot of being Hubs' baby mama. And two, because we just watched the movie of the same name.

I heart Tina Fey, truly I do. But given all we'd been through, this was one theatrical release that I had to forgo. If Knocked Up taught me anything, it was that seeing baby/pregnancy related flicks while being infertile is highly discouraged. Big time.

Word.

But today was the one day where I thought I could view this little baby bump of a film and actually be okay about it. And fortunately, I was right.

Yes, today was transfer day. Two beautiful, high grade blastocysts were delivered to the proverbial 'sweet spot' of my uterus at 11:03am. So sayeth my doctor, and boy am I inclined to believe him.

Two weeks from now we'll find out if it worked, but in the meantime I can float in this bliss bubble for a week at least, before I start peeing on things to see if I can get an early test result. And so I allowed Baby Mama into my bubble.

It was good, had some pretty laugh out loud moments, but the ending, as expected, was meh. But what could she do? Forced into a corner, she pumped out her Hollywood ending and there was much rejoicing. And I'm not giving anything away to those that have yet to see it, trust me.

Back to me as baby mama now. Hubs and I went out for dinner tonight thanks to some Outback steakhouse gift certificates CJ had given me for my birthday. We had a fantastic meal and chatted a lot about what our new future might mean, what changes to expect, what we were both excited and scared about.

At this point, quite frankly I'm most scared that I'm jinxing us by even having these conversations. That merely talking about it as something that could happen is enough to anger the universe that's been so cruel to us in the past. But for tonight, all second thoughts were shoved aside and there was meat to be ingested. All in all, a lovely evening.

So cross your fingers, toes, whathaveyou that little eenie and meenie (Hubs' names for our embryos) are snuggling in nice and tight to the cushy lining I've been busting my hump to keep plump for them since they were merely eggs and sperm. Only five days old and I'm already complaining about the work necessary to keep a roof over (and under) their heads.

I'm going to do my everything to think positively, to visualize this actually happening, to picture those embryos latching on, getting bigger day by day, and one day becoming the son or daughter we've craved all these years.

'Cause even if it's only for two weeks (or as long as my bliss bubble remains intact) I will always be baby mama to eenie and meenie. I'll always have that.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?