Monday, 9 June 2008

The many why?'s of diva living


Hello my lovelies.

So long since we last spoke. So long since I last wrote. I could begin to tell you how ridiculously insane the week was, all the stuff that went on, how crazy work has been, but that's really not all that exciting in the grand scheme of things, eh? So no. Let's not focus on the insanity. Let's just agree that the week was busy and all be happy that I'm back.

I've been compiling this post in my mind for a while now. Every time I see something or hear something that makes me go 'huh?' I add it to my mental list and now happily present said list to you for your reading pleasure.

So.

My why?'s. Are you ready? Okay, let's begin.

Why? number one:
Why do some iPod users think we want to hear their disgusting taste in music?

I mean really! You know who I'm talking about....they're on the bus, the subway, the train, the plane, standing beside you at the stoplight....the idiots who don't understand that the entire purpose of earphones is so that the user alone can hear the music. Argh. Makes me mental, especially when I'm sharing the same audio space and am trying to read! Your techno dance party jams force me to read the same paragraph over and over again. Turn it the fuck down!


Why? number two:
Why hasn't anyone introduced you to a pumice stone?

It's summer. Calendar be damned, it is. It's hot and with the heat come the sandals.

Now, I understand that general foot maintenance is gross. I hate feet. I'm quite happy to pay someone else a tidy sum to take care of them on my behalf every month or so during the dog days of summer, just to minimize my own exposure. But still...that's only once a month, and there are three good weeks of upkeep that are all up to you.

Pumice stone. A few bucks at Shopper's, a few minutes in the shower every few days. Slather on some good lotion and you'll be good to go.

Please. Do these few tiny things. Make your feet better and less disgusting for all who have to view them this summer.


Why? number three:
Why do you think your bra is an accessory?

Gar. Summer. Tank tops. Bra straps. Bra straps way wider than tank top straps. Makes me mental. Not too bad when they're colour coordinated, but hells no, I don't want to be staring at the wee bit of material that keeps your boobies outta play, ya know?

Took me a while to get this one under control myself, mostly because I don't wear a lot of tanks (my upper arms rarely make public appearances). And the fact that given the ample size of my breastesses, the straps have to be rather wide lest they carve deep, bloody welts into my poor shoulders. My solution? I look for a thicker strapped tank. Crisis averted, spectacle no more.



Why? number four:
Why must you test out all of your new phone's ring tones in public?

I can HEAR the groans here. You've had this happen to you, haven't you? Be it public transit, the movie theatre, a restaurant, coffee shop....you've been sitting peacefully and all of the sudden your blissful grande latte tranquility is broken by the 1812 Overture, the Entertainer, Hello Moto, cosmic blips, the list goes on. Do people really think that's quiet? Or not annoying? Pfft.


Why? number five:
Why must you sit on the middle seat on the TTC bench?

Fuck this one pisses me off. Sorry for the profanity, but it does, it really does. So you get on the subway and you see the bench that has three seats on it. All are available. What on earth possesses you to plant your ass on the one in the middle? Greedy much!? Pick a side, pick a damned side! Otherwise everyone's going to go somewhere else and two perfectly good seats go to waste until the train gets too packed to sustain it and someone sits down on either side of you, squishing you right in after all.

Why? So many why?s.

I know there are more. I do. I just can't remember them at the moment. Feel free to share any of yours with me to help jog my proverbial memory. Tell diva what irks you. What makes your blood boil. What, with one mere glance, causes you to fall into a full body shudder.

It feels surprisingly good to get these out. Very cleansing, ya know? Ahhhhh.....I feel better already!

In other news, a few shout outs to do before I flee. First, big huge congrats to CJ and her man on their engagement! So very exciting! Woot woot! And a massive welcome home to our long lost gal Nat. We're just delighted to have you back. Bachelorette next week?

And finally, I likely won't be here to blog again tomorrow night. Hubs and I will be going out to dinner and yadda yadda yadda to celebrate our second wedding anniversary. Hard to believe, but two years ago tomorrow I became Mrs. Hubs and I have loved every moment of our married life.

I'm a very lucky diva, I tell you what. Not really sure what I did to deserve him but I'm very lucky that he tells me every day why he loves me.

Fortunately, that's one why I pretty much never need to ask.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

6 comments on "The many why?'s of diva living"

celtic_kitten on 10 June 2008 at 06:54 said...

Happy Anniversary!!!! :)

And a big congrats to CJ from me, too ;)

I hear ya on your "why" questions... especially the noise pollution and the seat issue. Grr.

Happy Anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Janny on 10 June 2008 at 10:16 said...

Well, it's officially 'tomorrow' so happy second anniversary!! :) And great news from your friend CJ too!! :)

I have a bus realted 'Why?': WHY do you think your bag deserves a seat on a packed bus??? I LOVE my bags, so that's not the issue there, but come on! I'm sure it can survive on your lap for the few minutes you need to commute. It won't kill you to have a human sitting there instead of the bag. Might kill the other human to stay standing on the bus, cause we all know how some bus drivers seem to have gotten their licenses by bribing someone (I know they aren't all like that, but the one I've been getting for my noon transit the past few weeks IS like that :S ), and it always happens on the days you decide to wear cute heels that everyone seems to want their bag to have a seat on the bus, so very deathly to be standing...

Not as eloquently put as your why's, but that's mine! :) And, yes, definitely feels good to let out!! :)

Hope you guys have a great time tonight!!

Mrs. Spaghetti Bender on 10 June 2008 at 11:14 said...

Happy 2nd Anniversary!!!

I ditto most of your why's. I fortunately don't take public transportation anymore but glad to see that things haven't changed.

My why?, why does every summer student that is male that I have to work with take advantage of the government. The come in when they want, they take long lunches and leave early. They are paid $15+/hour to do some pretty easy jobs and complain the whole summer about how boring they are.

I say be grateful they have a good paying summer job with perks such as long lunches - cause if not I know plenty of people that would take your place.

Phew, that does make me feel better.

Thanks Diva!

celtic_kitten on 10 June 2008 at 19:08 said...

I have a new extension "Why?"... spinning from your iPod one.

Why do boys in their late teen and early 20s think that the whole world wants to hear their crap-tastic music seeping from their cars with the crappy speakers... and yet tint them so heavily so you can't see WHO has such crap-tastic taste in tunes?

tndrly said...

Oh my Diva...you sure made me laugh today! I needed a laugh too! Thanks. I totally agree with your "why's?" Thanks again!

Anonymous said...

Ewwww.... I never look at people's feet, especially in the summer!

Same goes for boobs I guess. Men's packages are a whole different ballgame.

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