So yeah.

We're cancelled.

You may have figured this out by now.

Or you may have read about it elsewhere.

Regardless, it's true. Cancelled. Try again. Better luck next time.

Blech.

So here's a picnic. Since the meds didn't work quite right, we have to clear things out in an attempt to get ready to start anew.

Okay. Fun!

Basically I was told to give myself the 'trigger' shot, the special cocktail of hormonal goodness that forces ovulation. I've taken this drug a bunch of times for other cycles we've done in the past and it was no sweat. Out popped the egg, maybe two, that had been growing thanks to the medication, and on we went.

But not this time.

Oh no.

You see, while the medication balance for the cycle wasn't quite right for me, I still did develop a number of eggs. They may not have matured entirely, but they were big enough that they needed to go.

All 11 of them.

Yes, you read that right. I had 11 follicles developing, and the trigger shot ensured that they vacated the premises en masse.

Ever been punched in the ovaries before?

Me neither, but I now can relate to those that have. Fuck.

It's getting better now, thankfully. But ouchie ouch ouch, it hurt something fierce.

The silver lining in all of this is that now I get to do some fun things in August that might otherwise have remained on the back burner.

For example, Hubs, DeeDee and I can go to my sister's place in Waterloo this long weekend. I can drink. I can go in their pool. All things I would not have been able to do had things gone ahead as planned.

And I can drink. Did I mention that? Hehe. Yes, I realize it's somewhat sad to take so much pleasure in being able to drink, but cut me some farking slack, yo. I have to get through this somehow, and if a POMtini or two puts a smile back on my face, it's worth it.

Just ask Hubs, it would most certainly be worth it.

I'll also be able to drink for my 35th birthday, now merely three flippin weeks away. It would have been hard enough without alcohol, but hell, I would have been pregnant if this had worked, so I would have found a way to be okay with it.

Now, I can get blotto and not worry. Good times.

Sorry I haven't been around these past few days, but it's been hard. So much that I've wanted to say, yet so much time spent in limbo waiting for phone calls and confirmations of the worst. At the same time, I've been trying to focus on the good things in my life so that I can retain the already tenuous grip I have on sanity right now.

I'm walking one heck of a tightrope, folks. And seeing as I have the grace of a water buffalo, it's going to take all of my strength just to stay upright.

Thanks for keeping me steady.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?