Monday, 19 January 2009

Just another mortified Monday

Hello, my lovelies!

Hope you've all had a good weekend and are as happy as I am to have Monday now behind you. While I'm not now and never have been a huge fan of the Monday, these days I find myself actually looking forward to them for one reason and one reason only:

The Bachelor.

Ooooooh boy. I am well and truly addicted to this show and just can't get enough. And this week I was, once again, not disappointed. Gotta love the drama! But if only he'd let that pukey silly psycho stalker Shannon chick go I'd be so much happier, ya know?

But I digress.

While I was abuzz with sweet anticipation for The Bachelor this evening, I also had some fab good times to look forward to first thing in the morning.

My annual colposcopy.

In a nutshell, it's a glorified Pap. Yeah, good times. Click the link - always good to be educated on cervical health. It's my good deed for the day - inform thyself. :)

This has truly been a banner week for doctors picking about my girlie bits. Flippin speculums have seen more action than Hubs, for pete's sake! Sigh...

So each time it's always kinda weird since I work very closely with the doctor who does the procedure. Like, I've met her family, she's met Hubs numerous times, I raise money for her research, etc. So it's always that little bit awkward that she gets to be intimate with my cervix, but whatevs.

So I'm sitting on the table with the sheet draped over me and we're chatting, then it's time to skooch into position. So I slide...

And I tooted.

Not quietly.


I was beside myself. Mortified.

Fortunately we were all chatting still and the rustle of the deli paper helped muffle some of the offending sound - but STILL!

It's always been my worst fear and today it came true!

After all this time, all these cooter cams and random tests and cervix checks, ugh. I've survived each and every one of them without airing my gassy grievances. There have been some close calls but by gawd I've managed to hold them in and stop them from becoming that unwanted presence in the room.

But not this time. No.

And of course it wasn't in front of some random stranger I'll never see again, noooooo, but someone I work with! That I had to call this afternoon to talk about a work related issue. Yeesh.

This'll serve me right for trying to eat healthy. Danged fibre.

Alas, tomorrow is another day. Hopefully I'll be able to keep my toots to myself.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

10 comments on "Just another mortified Monday"

Dagny on 20 January 2009 at 09:05 said...


That is too funny...and my fear as well...

Last IVF round I almost ended up in that very situation....I have no idea how I held it in....hehee.


cindyhoo2 on 20 January 2009 at 10:01 said...

ha ha. I have also had the same fear. Thanks for sharing. I wonder how often that happens? I should ask my OBGYN friend.

Anonymous said...

I remember asking you and others about this. Not many owned up to it. ;) I'm sorry it happened because I know that you were *actually* really worried it was going to. But I'm glad there was deli paper to rustle around.

I'm sure that happens sooo often.


Kris on 21 January 2009 at 19:31 said...

Oh, that's terrible! I just came from getting a bikini wax where I came within an inch of doing the same thing. I think it's worse with my waxing lady than a doctor b/c doctors are very matter-of-fact about that sort of thing. I'm sure it wouldn't faze her.
Now I'll be paranoid about it every time a get a pap or a wax...

Shoe_Gal said...


That was a really funny story! Sometimes it's hard to keep those suckers in!! :-)

Anonymous said...

LOL LOL! OH that is hilarious!

I always hate the "deli paper" because I stick to it. yuck

but to tootster... ha! Oh well, what can you do?! I'm sure they have seen (smelled? heard?) worse!

grimeysgal on 27 January 2009 at 21:24 said...

HAHAHAHA!!! OMG! Soooo embarassing! Did she acknowledge it? I'm sure she's a professional and these things happen all the time...

Andrea on 28 January 2009 at 20:41 said...

Well I have something that will make you feel a lot better. A friend of mine was at the Gyno and had to do the skooch....and her Gyn must have been "in position" when he asked her to skooch...and when she lifted her butt of the paper...she hit him in the face...with her crotch.

Feel better?!?

Anonymous said...

omg Andrea. That made me laugh soooo hard! That poor girl.

Diva, I must say that's a fear for me as well! Hopefully if it ever happened I will be able to rustle the deli paper at the same moment hehe

Anonymous said...

OMG Andrea--that made my night reading that!
I was just gonna say that I'm sure it happens to her all the time. I hear toots happen every morning when I wake my sleep study patient's up--no biggy. :)




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