Thursday, 8 May 2008

The peaks of humiliation

I hate buying bras.

Yep, hate it. Despise. Loathe.

First off, to borrow a Julia Roberts-ism, it takes a village to raise this cleavage. Therefore any bra I wear must lift and separate, thus attempting to defy the laws of gravity.

And of all the laws in the universe to fight, gravity ain't the first one I'd naturally pick.

But it was really was. Time to venture out into the harsh flourescent lighting of my local clothing store and peruse the shockingly unattractive over the shoulder boulder holders available in my size.

Which meant I could try on three.


And of course, I face yet another challenge in this entire process - I detest underwire. It hurts. It's just cruel and unusual punishment to me, and as such I avoid it like the flipping plague.

I do own more than a few underwire bras, but they see the light of day so very infrequently, ones I purchased eight years ago still have their tags on.


I have my token black underwire bra that I use on those rare occasions when I need a more uplifting look. Specific shirts or blouses simply don't look right if the girls aren't in their allotted spaces.

You know what I mean....I know you do.

The rest of the time I alternate between a few white stretchy numbers that, due to frequent washing and pretty much every day wear, cause my nipples to spend more time pointing towards my naval than the bright blue sky.

And that just ain't right. Enough is enough.

Fortunately for me they were having a buy one, get one 40% off sale, so I kinda scored there. Especially since I managed to find TWO newbies. Now I can finally say goodbye to my old faithfuls. They could tell some stories, I tell you what.

Of course Hubs joined me in the changeroom to give me his unbiased opinion. Such a sweet guy...never misses a chance to tell me how beautiful he thinks I am. Or to cop a cheap feel.

So yeah, that was the highlight of my day, really. Got a lot done at work today which was great, picked up a few small necessities after work, then headed home. I've got to pack tonight as we're going to see my sister and my friend in Waterloo tomorrow - waahoo! We'll be there until Sunday morning, at which point we'll hurry back to meet up with Hubs' family for Mother's Day.

Mother's Day - now there's a topic that's worthy of its very own post. I think I'll leave that one for Monday to let you know how/if I managed to pull through.

For now I really must get moving. Must pack and all that. Not that I'm overly tired however, considering I fell asleep at 7:30 last night.

Yep, you read that right. Fell asleep on the couch after dinner. Hubs woke me at 9, we went upstairs and watched American Idol in bed, then we both fell right off to sleep again. Well, it took me a little longer than him. He fucking snores like no one I've ever heard before.

But I digress...

If nothing else, I'm looking forward to putting on one of my virgin bras tomorrow and greeting the world as the new, perkier me. Happy that it'll be a long while before I have to endure this entire bra buying purchase again. Much to Hubs' chagrin.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

1 comments on "The peaks of humiliation"

celtic_kitten on 9 May 2008 at 06:52 said...

Oy. You've hit the two topics I'm dreading most for this weekend :p Congrats on lucking out in your find, though! I'm expecting to have worse luck and end up spending far too much money. Dang.

Have fun in Waterloo!! :)




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