So much for the lamb theory

You often hear it said that March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb. Well, if memory serves they got the lion thing right, but the end of March hasn't displayed a single shred of lamb-iness in my little corner of the world.

I will say that this last weekend of March did start off great.

Friday night we went out to dinner with Hubs' colleagues (who picked up the tab, which was very nice). We went to Brant House and I felt like I was living the downtown diva super swank lifestyle all over again! It was nice to be out, but man, later that night was I ever glad to get home! It had already been a long week and going out on Fridays kills me now!

Saturday we got up early so I could drop Hubs off at the GO station. He had a big trade show he was working at the convention centre so it made more sense to take the train than drive. I dropped off library books on the way home, went to the grocery store, cleaned the house a bit, hopped into the shower, then my mom and sister picked me up for a girlie day out.

We went to a little store here in town that I like, then to Red Lobster for lunch which I'll never say no to. We then headed up to the Jeanne Lottie warehouse sale and my mom bought me a bag I have been coveting for a while. So I didn't spend any money! Good diva, very good diva.

Then I got home, cleaned a bit more, and a good friend came over for dinner. We then met up with a bunch of other wb gals, ate bad food, almost burned her condo down during Earth Hour, and watched Ghost. I got home at 1am and passed out.

Sunday it was nice to sleep in a bit. As I came downstairs, I noticed that Pekoe, the youngest of my three cats, was lying on the carpet by the window. He's usually a very skittish guy, so you walk near him and he bolts. So I walked gingerly past him so I could open the blinds, and he didn't run away. I bent down to pet him and again, he didn't run away. Instead he cried out in pain and I knew something was wrong.

Long story short, hours later we took him to the emergency vet and his entire urinary tract was blocked. They drained his bladder, but it was full of blood and crystals, so he was really sick. They could treat it, but there was a good chance it would happen again, and he'd need to be in the vet hospital for at least 48 hours with IV etc etc, and it would cost over $3,000.

Yeah.

So we spoke to the vet more and I asked realistically what his chances were of getting better and she said they were 50/50. I asked what would happen if we just tried antibiotics etc and went from there, and she didn't think he would live for another 24 hours but would die a painful death. God. So I had to make a terrible decision and ultimately we had to put him down.

The vet was awesome, she made me feel okay about the decision and told me I wasn't a terrible human being (that's all I could say over and over and over again) but it still sucked. Thank god she was nice though, 'cause had it been anyone else it would have been even harder if that's possible. In the end, I left the office with an empty cat carrier and $600 less in my meager savings account.

Sigh.

So today I'm all puffy from crying all night and I didn't get any sleep so I'm exhausted too. Of course it's grey and drizzling and just plain nasty, which doesn't help but sure does fit the mood.

I'm going to watch the Bachelor and head to bed. Here's hoping tonight I finally get some sleep.

Is March over yet? 'Cause it sure seems like the lambs are still screaming.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

I'm not an addict, baby

Well, that's not true. I guess I kinda am.

Hello, my name is divajen, and I'm a smidge addicted to Guitar Hero.

Sad, isn't it? I'm almost 35 years old and I keep coming up with creative ways to borrow it from my brother in law so I can play my fingers off. No, I don't own it myself - see yesterday's post on attempting to be fiscally responsible - but you can bet your butt it's on my birthday list. Even if my birthday isn't until August.

I've only recently discovered that I can wait for stuff. But fret not, I'm still an instant gratification girl at heart. I just don't have the budget to keep that particular habit up.

My brother in law and sister went away for the long weekend, so while at their home to drop off the kids' Easter presents on Wednesday, I convinced him to loan me his precious Guitar Hero.

And here we are, a full week later, and I still have it. Wondrous.

I think it helps that he recently bought Rockband, and Guitar Hero (II, no less) is but a distant memory.

I've managed to get five stars on every song on Easy, and almost every one on Medium. I was rocking out like a mad fiend, with 200+ note streaks at 95%. Hells yeah.

Then I hit Hard.

Sweet merciful crap, they weren't kidding! It's freaking tough! I can barely get through the first few songs without being booed off stage. How to knock a diva off her self-created pedestal.

Apparently my fingers don't move as fast as my brain, but more importantly, my brain doesn't move as fast as that scrolling screen. I crash and burn with the best of them.

So this is how I'm attempting to de-stress tonight. Had a simple meal, caught up on some crappy tv, and I am now off to tackle a few Hard choices before I head to bed.

Rock on, sistahs! Rock on. And wish me luck!

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

This too shall pass...

It's one of those days.

I'm ready for it to be done. I'm ready to be back to my old self. I'm ready for spring to come and the snow to stop and things to finally start going my way.

I'm ready.

I said, I'm ready, dammit!

So why don't the things I'm ready for actually happen!? Argh.

Today sucked. I've got the weirdest hormonal things going on right now so I spent the entire day close to tears. And covered with a very strange chest acne that I can't even begin to describe or explain. Seriously. I am oddly speckled from the top of my boobs, all the way up my neck and behind my ears.

Seriously. How freaky weird/gross is that?

It's not a new soap or product...this is something weird that happens to me at some point in my cyclical hormonal progression. I get it all the time - but never to this degree. We're talking maybe 5-10 spots in a normal go. This time, there are easily ten times that.

Blech. Can't wear most of my tops. Am resorting to turtleneck sweaters and scarves. Looks like I'm trying to hide some super nasty love bite Hubs gave me in my sleep.

But enough about my oddly speckled boobiledge.

What a shitty day all around. Add to the hormonal fun the continued financial pressures that keep pushing down on my gut and a disgustingly cold, dreary, gray, rainy/snowy day, and I was one cranky princess this March 25th.

Yes, financial pressures. Despite the fact that Hubs and I have a more than decent household income, we're really feeling the pinch these days, especially since we now need to save for some seriously big things in our life, namely in vitro fertilization and buying out our car.

Double blech.

I haven't really talked much about the need for us to move to IVF, but I guess I'm ready now. We had the chat with the clinic just after we got back from Cuba and they suggested that we go for it. That we've waited long enough, that the chances for success are just that much higher, and that other stuff just doesn't seem to be working. So why waste any more time and money?

Makes sense. In a very general way, that is. But when you consider that IVF will cost us about $8,000 (not including drugs) you can see how the financial stuff starts to add up. And quickly.

Could we get a loan to pay for it? Probably. But that doesn't help the bigger picture - the one that has us already saddled with a good amount of consumer debt that we were hoping to work hard to pay off. Over time. So what do we do?

I'm almost 35 so it's not like we can take lots of time to save, ya know? We've been playing this game for so freakin long I just want to finally have something work. 'Cause I just don't want to have to go through this (the mental 'this' that I live every very emotional day of my non-pregnant life) any longer than I absolutely have to.

Le sigh.

I'm sure everything will look better in the morning. That if I take the time to examine our finances and how we can make things work best for us, I'll start to feel better, more in control. That with a bit of sleep and maybe some sunlight, my outlook might start to rosy-up.

It's like I've told myself about a thousand times today...this too shall pass.

I'll take any good saving/debt reduction tips you oh so brilliant gals have to offer. Thanks in advance to one and all!

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

Daym, chicks are smart

This is a follow up post, of sorts. Follow up to yesterday's diva on a mission, my quest for a chandelier for my ensuite.

First, thanks to everyone who posted links, etc. to some really great options. There are lots of great suggestions there from places that hadn't even crossed my mind, so woot (and thanks!) to you all!

For the record, here are two of my faves thus far:





This beauty as recommended by Gina, on sale for $90 at Canadian Tire. Hmmm...I have some good Canadian Tire money sitting around....
















And this gorgeous thing is a rec from Jenn, available for $120 at Pottery Barn Kids. Yes, kids! But I love it just the same! I think it would be stunning against the coloured walls.







Whuddya think??? Awesome suggestions!

Second, you gals are super smart. And you sure do care about me - not wanting me to get electrocuted and stuff! Yikes!

Hadn't really crossed my mind as something to be afraid of, but it sure should have! That's the last thing I need - to be sitting in my tub, relaxing with a cup of coffee or glass of wine (who's kidding who, it would totally be wine), yummy LUSH bath bombs smelling up the room, reading a trashy novel, and kablamo! My beautiful chandelier, the one I worked so hard to find, comes crashing down and fries my stupid carcass in the tub.

Not a good mental image, no.

It's always been a deep dark fear of mine to have something terrible happen to me and have rescue squads happen upon me naked. Seriously. I think I would drag myself to a robe by my teeth were that ever to happen. Providing I was somewhat conscious, of course. Methinks that might not be an option with tub electrocution, however. Fatal Attraction has taught me many lessons, including this one.

But I digress.

I will therefore reassure those of you who were concerned that my home isn't up to code that all is well - the stupid thing isn't actually directly above my tub!

I realized this key element this morning getting out of the shower. I looked up at the ugly globe and swore. I was super pissed that the damned thing wasn't even centered over the freaking tub! Argh! I started cursing new builds and the companies that throw homes up in the blink of a cheap developer's eye.

Annnnnnnnd now I feel stupid.

Sigh. Of course it makes sense to not put the damned light above the tub. Argh. Duh.

You girls are so smart. What would I do without you? This is awesome. I love how I can ask for info/suggestions/comments and not only do I get them in spades but I also get timely and relevant safety recommendations. Love love love it!

So that's about all I have to talk about today. It's been a rough few days - three friends told me they were pregnant within a three hour time frame yesterday, and it sucked. Then another one told me she was too this morning.

Ugh.

And perhaps the saddest of all, my mom's best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday. She's been like a second mom to me since I was 8 years old. She's been at every graduation I've ever had, every big family event. She and her husband are my second parents and my sister and I are practically their children since they were never able to have kids of their own.

She's 60 years old. And it's aggressive.

Since you guys were kind enough to keep my safety in mind, today I'll simply ask you to keep Sharon in your thoughts and, if appropriate, prayers. I think she's going to need all the help she can get, and you gals sure do know how to come through in a pinch.

With gratitude.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

Diva on a mission...

So my friends, I am in need of your help.

Let me give you some back story...

First, you know I've been sick. I stayed home again on Friday to try to rest and just get better. By Saturday, I was ready to pull my hair out. I'd been home every night and two days that week, so when the sun came out, it was time to just get outside and start moving again.

Hubs and I decided to go to a cute little town not that far away from our place. We hopped in the car, hit Timmy's for a hot beverage, and off we went.

We walked up and down main street, did some shopping, took our time and just enjoyed the (very) fresh air. But after a week of house arrest, it didn't take me long to get tired.

So back home we came.

As we were coming down the road I mentioned to Hubs that one day I wanted to go and visit the model homes of the builder just north of us. It's a nice subdivision and I've always wondered what the interiors look like. Not that we have any desire to buy something else and move, but looking sure can be fun!

Since it was close and it was still relatively nice out, we decided to walk. Exercise is good.

Yes, that's right. I said exercise is good.

We head into the homes and start poking about. Nicely done but strangely laid out - phew! I said a silent word of thanks, 'cause the last thing I need is to get 'I want a new house' vibe into my brain. Sheesh!

There were three homes to check out, two empty and one all decked out with furnishings. The furnished one was the smallest of all three, but had a better layout. Nice long master bedroom, and a great ensuite, similar to our existing one, but with the drool-worthy double sinks.

Sigh....

But more than the double sinks, the bathroom had an extra touch that I totally fell in love with and is therefore now the subject of my quest:

An absolutely gorgeous chandelier over the corner soaker tub.

We have a corner soaker tub. But ours has a really plain, boring, stupid globe light over it.

And now that I have seen the light (hehehe - soooo funny, I am) I must find a new bathroom chandelier for our house.

So here's where you come in! See if you can find me some pics of a chandelier that would work in a bathroom. Can't be too big or ornate, 'cause that just won't work. And no gold or brass - diva don't do gold or brass. Silver or crystal or that kinda stuff.

The wall colour is a cafe au lait colour, as are the tiles on the floor and in the surround. Very neutral. Towels are white, turquoise and chocolate brown. Chocolate brown accents are in the artwork. Vanity cupboards are medium wood, and the countertop is also taupe.

Hell, why don't I just show you a picture!


Witness the hidiosity that is the current light fixture. Now you understand my quest.

So....the parameters. I don't wanna spend a fortune - we have a gazillion other things our cash could be going towards, ya know? It can't be too big 'cause, well, there just isn't room for a huge fixture. It won't work in the space.

But that's about it.

So help me out, will ya? Show me what you can find - I'll take all the help I can get!

I love a good shopping mission. Hope you do too!

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

Can't blog...still sick...

Well, I suppose I CAN blog, I'm not that sick. Really, I am such a drama queen at times I even roll my own eyes at me.

Having said that, I am still sick and I feel really crappy. I haven't been around these parts as much lately as a result - every night I'm so wiped that I head up to bed, all my energy sapped.

Not that I actually sleep when I get into bed thanks to the coughing etc but still...what can you do.

The hardest part for me right now is the side effects of the really strong antibiotics I'm on. You know that saying, 'the cure is worse than the disease'? I'm kinda living that right now, and it sucks.

What's been interesting about this is that I had a pretty monumental day at work on Wednesday - I secured a huge commitment, the biggest of my career, and one that ensures I meet all of my goals for the year. That's pretty danged cool...but I'm just gonna have to celebrate it next week when I'm feeling up to actually celebrating. Bummer.

A friend of mine got some fantastic news this morning and I'm just so freaking happy for her. Just wanted to put that out there...I know it's totally off topic and I don't even think she reads the blog but still...I just think it's great and it gives me hope. So yay for you!

Uh yeah. Proof that my brain is not functioning as it should. This post, as short as it's been, is all over the proverbial map. So methinks it's time for bed. Maybe tonight I'll actually do some sleeping while I'm there. A diva can dream, right?

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

Huh?

Maybe it's me, but things are just plain weird lately.

It's March, and there are mountains of snow. That in and of itself isn't really weird, but I'm actually serious - we have mountains. In March. Ten days away from spring.

Some of the trees on my street are actually completely obliterated by snowbanks...the curse of new developments, where houses are squished so close together that there's nowhere to actually put the damned white stuff when it falls.

Okay, okay. So that's winter in Canada. Stop complaining. It's not like this is new or anything.

But what's extra weird? We've got all this snow, and I'm still being blinded by the reflection of the SUN on said snow at 6pm at night.

That's right, this whole clocks springing forward three weeks early has really thrown me for a loop. In this case I'm truly not complaining - as much as it sucks to lose an hour of sleep, I'll gladly give it up for sunlight on my entire train ride home.

But the snow mountains and sun setting after 7:30 pm is some kinda crazy juxtaposition that doesn't quite compute in my winter-weary brain. And I don't think I'm alone here.

I just want spring to arrive, once and for all. No more snow (and I say this, knowing full well that we're getting even more of this crap tomorrow), temperatures above 0...that's not too much to ask for, is it really? It sure as hell would make more sense given the sun's new schedule. Yeesh.

That's my rant for the day. I can't help it - I'm just confused by it all!

To top it off, I'm sick. Again. First time in 2008, so I actually made it almost three months with nary a cough.

But alas, the germies have crept back in and I have bronchitis. Sucks. I stayed home from work today in an attempt to get more rest and see a doctor, and while I accomplished both, I do have to return to the office tomorrow. Just too much going on to stay home any longer. Crappy, but true.

So now I'll be that person I hate...you know the one. Hacking on the GO train, sniffling on the subway, coughing up a lung in my office. The one you wished would have just stayed home to recuperate and now - they're sitting next to you. For an extended period of time. Spewing germs your way.

Oh yeah, can't wait to be that most beloved stranger. I can feel the daggers already. Do antibiotics work against daggers, too? If so, I might at least have a bit of protection.

I will admit I'm not all that disappointed to go into work, thanks to this killer case of cabin fever. I left work early on Friday at the onset of this plague, and between just feeling crappy and that insane snowstorm, I didn't leave the house until this afternoon when we went to see the doctor. If nothing else, I know I don't have housebound tendencies.

Of course I say this now, out of desperation to leave my insular home. But I'd bet dollars to donuts come noon tomorrow I'm going to wish I was snuggled at home on my couch in my comfy clothes with my laptop and remote control. And fuzzy socks. And sugar free Halls.

Ah, the wanton pleasures of an under the weather diva.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

Life in five year increments

WB gals, you'll have to forgive me for recycling my own material, but I've been thinking about this a lot lately and thought I'd bring it into my blog universe as well. Besides, I think I'm starting to get sick and will be turning in soon for some much needed rest, so this is my cheater's way out. But at least there's a post today!

So...

It's one of my favourite interview questions - where do you see yourself in five years? I have no idea what I'll be up to in 2013, but I figure life might have a few less changes in this next period than the last one.

'Cause five years ago I was single, dating but nothing serious, on the cusp of my 30th birthday, living downtown in a rented apartment, going out dancing all the time, jetting down to NYC for a weekend every few months, had a totally different circle of friends, and was devoted, almost to a fault, to my job. I was living the Sex and the City lifestyle, right down to the fabulous accessories and Cosmos by the dozen.

Now I'm much more Desperate Housewives than Sex and the City. In the past five years I met Hubs, bought a car, got engaged, got married, bought a house in the 'burbs, became a step-mother , watched my nephew and niece be born (not literally, of course), wrote a will, have been to Europe and to Cuba twice, and have seen a complete transition in my circle of friends (one or two exceptions to that rule, but still). And sadly, I haven't been to NYC for almost four years.

Sigh.

I still work in the same place but have a better title now, and make significantly more now than I did then. Thank god.

If you'd asked me the question in 2003 I don't think I would have even come close to being right. Sometimes I am just amazed (and delighted) by the trajectory my life has taken.

What do I see for myself five years from now? Well, I fully expect to still be married to my wonderful Hubs, living out in the 'burbs, and quite potentially still working for the same organization. If not, it will be something closer to home to lessen the pain of commuting. My biggest hope is that come 2013 Hubs and I will be the proud parents of a four (or so) year old. But other than that, I don't expect too much to change. Given my age, etc, I think I've done all of my big life changes over the past few years.

Amazing how the road of life can twist and turn like this, but in the end you end up at a rather delightful destination. One you kinda didn't even know was on the map, but how happy you are to get there!

It's funny - in so many aspects of my life I'll plan things down to the last dot. I'm not averse to spontaneity, but I like my surprises in easy to digest, bite sized portions. I am definitely a fan of the even keel.

And despite that, I've never been one to have my entire life planned out. I never thought I'd get married period, let alone by a certain age. While I've always wanted children, due to my issues of the past I've been way too nervous to ever attach a time frame to becoming a mother, so that was out. I always expected to own a home someday but a good part of me thought I'd be living on my own in said house. Well, I wouldn't be completely alone. I do have three cats after all.

Strangely enough, I actually had a much easier time envisioning myself as the crazy cat lady homeowner than wife and potential mother cat lady homeowner.

I definitely prefer wife over crazy.

So how about you? Have the past five years brought what you expected? And how about the next five years - where do you think you'll be in 2013?

Hope you enjoy thinking backwards and forwards. And I hope you've enjoyed the curve balls life's thrown at you as much as I've loved catching mine.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

Welcome to my 200th post!!

Ta da! Cue the balloons and streamers, the confetti and tiaras - post number 200 is coming your way on this snowy Tuesday.

How's everyone been? I've been okay, busy, but okay. Work continues to be nuts and winter continues to take its toll. Stupid winter. As you well know I'm sooooo done with the snowy season, but I'm not here to chat about that today.

No, today I want to talk about words.

Yes, words.

I like words. Words are my friends. They should be your friends too, but fret not, I won't impose my wordy views on you. Har.

I read a lot. Not like that's much of a surprise, but it's true. Once I moved out to the 'burbs I started keeping track of the number of books I read and by the time the end of the year rolled around, the total was 85. I moved mid-February.

The book I'm currently reading is one I've read before, called Inappropriate Men, by Stacey Ballis. When I first read it a few years ago I was a single city gal who was finally thrusting herself back into the dating world. I loved this book at that time. Loved it with every fibre of my being. It spoke to me, the character thought like me, and she had a way with words that made me smile.

It's amazing how the passage of time and the accumulation of life experience can radically alter your perceptions. I'm re-reading this book mostly because I hadn't had a chance to get to the library for some new 'uns, and I plain ole refuse to get on that GO train without a book in my sassy bag.

But my how time has changed me! I'm now married (and therefore as far away from the dating scene as a faithful wife can get) and living la vida suburbia. Perspective sure has changed!

I still love this book, though. Maybe because I've romanticized it so much over the years that have transpired between readings one and two. Maybe it's just because it's a darned good book.

All that to bring us back to the topic at hand - words. At one point in the novel, the main character's writing an email to a potential beau about her favourite words (she's a writer). And that really got me thinking...

...what words would be on my favourites list?

There are a few that instantly spring to mind...

loquacious

titillating

alacrity

phantasmagoric

package

bonus

triumvirate/pentavirate

plebian

I of course asked Hubs what some of his favourite words are, and here's his list:

fuck

awesome

Porsche

Nurburgring

serendipity

acceleration

mint

snake

swish

schedule

God I love this man. Could we be more different in our choices?! Yeesh! He did pick the greatest word of all time for his entry into my little experiment though. Gotta give him snaps for that.

And now he's giving me shit for my word choices. Saying that I'm only using them to try and make myself look smart, so that you'll all have to run to dictionary.com to figure out what they mean. That instead, I should have included key yet simple words like pink, bling, and diva much like he included acceleration, mint and snake to his list.

What I am apparently wasting my time trying to explain to him (as he's now trying to edumacate me on the origins of the word fuck and is therefore not listening to a single thing I say) is that I don't really give a rip about what the word means necessarily, what it represents, but rather how it sounds. How it rolls off the tongue.

He wasn't buying it.

So, I open the floor to you all now...what are your favourite words? Lemme know - I'm sure I'll be titillated by your responses!

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?