Tuesday, 25 March 2008

This too shall pass...

It's one of those days.

I'm ready for it to be done. I'm ready to be back to my old self. I'm ready for spring to come and the snow to stop and things to finally start going my way.

I'm ready.

I said, I'm ready, dammit!

So why don't the things I'm ready for actually happen!? Argh.

Today sucked. I've got the weirdest hormonal things going on right now so I spent the entire day close to tears. And covered with a very strange chest acne that I can't even begin to describe or explain. Seriously. I am oddly speckled from the top of my boobs, all the way up my neck and behind my ears.

Seriously. How freaky weird/gross is that?

It's not a new soap or product...this is something weird that happens to me at some point in my cyclical hormonal progression. I get it all the time - but never to this degree. We're talking maybe 5-10 spots in a normal go. This time, there are easily ten times that.

Blech. Can't wear most of my tops. Am resorting to turtleneck sweaters and scarves. Looks like I'm trying to hide some super nasty love bite Hubs gave me in my sleep.

But enough about my oddly speckled boobiledge.

What a shitty day all around. Add to the hormonal fun the continued financial pressures that keep pushing down on my gut and a disgustingly cold, dreary, gray, rainy/snowy day, and I was one cranky princess this March 25th.

Yes, financial pressures. Despite the fact that Hubs and I have a more than decent household income, we're really feeling the pinch these days, especially since we now need to save for some seriously big things in our life, namely in vitro fertilization and buying out our car.

Double blech.

I haven't really talked much about the need for us to move to IVF, but I guess I'm ready now. We had the chat with the clinic just after we got back from Cuba and they suggested that we go for it. That we've waited long enough, that the chances for success are just that much higher, and that other stuff just doesn't seem to be working. So why waste any more time and money?

Makes sense. In a very general way, that is. But when you consider that IVF will cost us about $8,000 (not including drugs) you can see how the financial stuff starts to add up. And quickly.

Could we get a loan to pay for it? Probably. But that doesn't help the bigger picture - the one that has us already saddled with a good amount of consumer debt that we were hoping to work hard to pay off. Over time. So what do we do?

I'm almost 35 so it's not like we can take lots of time to save, ya know? We've been playing this game for so freakin long I just want to finally have something work. 'Cause I just don't want to have to go through this (the mental 'this' that I live every very emotional day of my non-pregnant life) any longer than I absolutely have to.

Le sigh.

I'm sure everything will look better in the morning. That if I take the time to examine our finances and how we can make things work best for us, I'll start to feel better, more in control. That with a bit of sleep and maybe some sunlight, my outlook might start to rosy-up.

It's like I've told myself about a thousand times today...this too shall pass.

I'll take any good saving/debt reduction tips you oh so brilliant gals have to offer. Thanks in advance to one and all!

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

5 comments on "This too shall pass..."

Anonymous said...

I just want to send you one big gigantic (((HUG))) from Montreal!!!


celtic_kitten on 26 March 2008 at 06:13 said...


No great tips here... the usual... limit eating out, limit the expensive bevvies (Starbucks, Timmy's, etc.), buy store-brand for things you don't have a particular brand loyalty to if it works out cheaper per unit, shop sales and stock up on things that'll keep... that sort of thing.

Oh yeah... and move as much as possible into a high-interest account that you can't get to from an ATM. And avoid the credit cards as much as possible (the good ol' if you can't pay for it right away, question if you actually NEED it right away)... obviously that last one doesn't apply to the time-sensitive things like IVF.

*hug* Things'll get better, Diva... they have to.

Anonymous said...

Hi Diva,

I sympathize with you about the costs of IVF. Having said that, I was lucky enough to have my parents pay for our treatment. When I told them what was wrong, my dad asked who he could make the cheque out to and how much. He gave us 10K but we still doled out another 5-6K or so for meds and the cost of starting another course of treatment. You could always take out a line of credit - the interest rates are lower than a credit card. I have a friend who did IVF 4 times and has 40K on a line of credit. He just pays what he can to get the debt down, but he doesn't let it bother him.
Easy for me to say since I had help, but honestly, it's only money. If you can, look at the big picture. I do when I look at my 3 week old son.

Marlene on 26 March 2008 at 15:20 said...

Just sending more hugs. Hope things look up soon.

Anonymous said...

It's Ami

I don't know why I am asking this, b/c you are already a brilliant woman, but do you guys have an electronic money-tracker (a la Microsoft Money)?? I use my debit card for everything, and I won't "write things down" but I can use MS money. Every couple of days I just log into my online banking and enter the transactions into MS money until the balances match. No big deal at all.

It does 2 things:
- we have everything "scheduled" in the system -- from regular bills down to entertainment and gas money. This way, the "forecast account balance" function will show us how much we have in our accts. I use it for my acct and the house acct.
- it lets me "play". As in - if we only spend $20 a week on entertainment, how much is left over? Stuff like that. For when we are saving, or, you know, buying a house.

Anyway, the point is that if you don't use anything like that, it might really change things for you. PM me and I can get it for you.





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