Monday, 25 June 2007

Bumpy roads...

Greetings, all. I know it's been a number of days since I last wrote, and for that you have my sincere apologies. It's been a rather bumpy road we've travelled over the past two weeks, and it doesn't appear as though there's been any significant roadwork done on the territory we're about to cover, either.

This weekend was busy and quiet at the same time. I finished work early on Friday to be with Hubs on a hard day, and was forced to wait at the train station for almost an hour because of a pedestrian fatality on the line I travel home. I didn't feel too badly, mostly because it could always be worse. Yes, I'll be late to get home, but I could have been that pedestrian. Yeah, that would be worse. Way worse.

I then proceeded to pass out on the couch for an hour or two Friday night. I just couldn't keep my eyes open! Just knowing that there was nothing on the schedule for that night and that it was a weekend to ourselves (DeeDee free) was surprisingly blissful. Then I felt bad, because I knew that given a choice, Hubs would have DeeDee with us all the time, so I shouldn't be happy that it was just us. Then I cut myself some slack and realized we both needed a little time to ourselves.

Saturday saw me up stupid early for a clinic appointment. There's some follicular growth which is good, but it could also be a cyst, which isn't good. At all. I'm told to wait to hear back from the clinic with the results of the blood work. Yippee.

I make the trek home, and my wonderful husband has vacuumed the main floor. I almost cried when I walked in the house and saw that.

You may wrinkle your forehead in a 'whut?' kinda reaction at that last statement, but I gotta tell you - vacuuming is my job around the house. Hubs HATES it with a passion. Like, really super duper hates it. And all week long I've been saying I have to vacuum this weekend because our floor looks like crap. Not that I want to do it, no - it was pure need at this point. But I was dreading it just the same.

So to come home and see the one thing that I was really dreading already taken care of by the person who hates it waaay more than I do was a surprisingly significant moment for me in my day. Again, can I just say how much I love this man? That he would choose to do something he abhors just so that I don't have to? It was a beautiful thing.

That night a friend was having her housewarming party and while neither of us were in a festive mood, I thought it was really important to be there for her, see the new digs, give her the lovely pressies I'd purchased for her, and wish her well. That, and I wanted to make sure I saw my friend wannabefrenchie (as she calls herself - one of my BFFs since high school and a bridesmaid in my wedding) before she leaves on Friday for a month in Europe. Both of them have been so supportive of me, from helping to paint our new house (a sacrifice that will be remembered forever) and making the trek out to the 'burbs for our housewarming a few weeks ago. I really felt this was something I needed to do.

So Hubs and I hop in the car and head back downtown - again. Twice in one day. Yeesh. Our poor Kia. At this rate I'll have to buy it out once the lease is over...

He drops me off at her building then goes and does some browsing in Indigo, HMV, etc, as he's not really up to being around people who will be asking how he is and saying how sorry they are. Which he of course would appreciate, but just didn't feel up to subjecting himself to. An hour or so later we arrange to meet at the car and make our way home.

As I'm pulling out my sparkly pink Razr phone to call him, I notice there's a voicemail. Ah yes, the clinic. This should be good. I dial into my voicemail, enter my snappy password, and hear my message - please return to the clinic tomorrow at 8am.

Fuck. There goes my one opportunity to sleep in.

That's about all I could think. Strange but true, but the thought of sleeping in on Sunday was truly the one thing that got my ass through the week that was. I knew of Saturday's appointment well in advance which is why Sunday had become all that more important. And then it was gone, off the table entirely. I'd have to set my alarm yet again and haul my carcass out of bed at 6:30 am. As usual.

Once I got over my disappointment at losing sleep in time, panic started to set in. What the hell could they possibly want me back for? It's kinda too early for anything to be happening, but could this be good news? Or could it be another cyst (yes, the other one is still there)? So many options, most of them not good, ran through my head.

In true 'this is my life' fashion, the news I got yesterday morning was somewhat hopeful. Then, of course, those hopes were kinda dashed when the bloodwork came back. Then dashed a little bit more after another test this morning. Who knows if there will be anything left in the hope tank to be dashed during tomorrow's appointment, but as always I'm attempting to steel myself for more bad news and to try not to be disappointed when it comes. I'm getting surprisingly good at it. Sad, really.

Hubs and I have talked and have decided that, for the next short while anyway, we're going to keep the minutia of our journey between us as we go through things. It's hard enough to go up and down five and six times a's even harder when you get friends and family all excited when it looks like there's good news, then you have to disappoint them all over again when it, inevitably it would seem, actually is not. I'll still talk in generalizations, but for the next few weeks anyway (unless everything comes crashing down and we're completely out, that is) you'll likely hear less and less about this follicle or that LH level, etc. I know you must be so disappointed - my hormone levels must, by this point, be such a key part of your day! - but I do hope you'll understand.

I'll still be here though, ranting about this, that, or the other Sludge, filling you in on the mundane activities of my day, and sharing with you any fab new things that may cross my retail path. 'Cause lord knows I just can't be a diva without my dear readers involved in the comings and goings of this ole gal's life!

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

2 comments on "Bumpy roads..."

celtic_kitten on 25 June 2007 at 11:04 said...

I think you need this....


Anonymous said...

I agree with celtic_kitten

Keep on truckin' diva.

-first_2b_abride from WB




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