Wednesday, 6 June 2007

My rage has a first name, it's S-L-U-D-G-E... rage has a second name it's B-I-T-C-H.

She's at it again. It's always something, isn't it? No getting away from it, she's always there, she's always stupid, and she's always selfish. Despite her many protestations to the contrary, 'cause she really believes she's a nice person who does good things and only wants to make people happy.

Now that's a master manipulator - she's so good at it, she's even fully convinced HERSELF! Impressive.

Same old same old, really. It all starts with family bbq's. Every year her family, multi-branched and trailer parked as it is, gets together to celebrate, get this - the date her mother purchased the house the entire family lives in. Her mother passed away two summers ago very suddenly (yes, that was very sad. I did then and still do feel sorry for her to have lost her mother, her only real parent, so quickly and at such a young age) and apparently she loved this house, so they have this bbq to celebrate the day she bought it and they also make it a memorial day for said mother, as well as a birthday celebration for DeeDee and Sludge's sister since they're both born close to the house-buying date. Talk about your multitasking party!

But alas. This is something they've done for a few years now...the family comes from near and far (far being St Catharines but whatever) and they all eat stuff. I guess. DeeDee enjoys herself because she gets to see her cousins, etc, that she doesn't often see, and hey - what kid doesn't want another birthday party?

The problem - the damned stinkin bbq always falls on Hubs' weekend. Always. Blech. Let the squabbling begin!

Now, here's the thing. Hubs knows this is a big deal for Sludge's family, so of course he agrees to change weekends around, whatever. He understands that family stuff isn't going to fit neatly into your weekend/my weekend kinda rules. Sensible, I'd say.

So this Sunday, her weekend, there's a Hubs' family bbq happening at his sister's place. All the family will be there, including Hubs' aunt that no one's seen in years - she couldn't make our wedding last year because she wasn't well enough to travel. So this is a bit of a big deal.

Sunday is also Hubs' dad's birthday, and our first wedding anniversary. So a lot of significance on a lot of levels, wouldn't you say? I mean, any of these alone or in combination don't hold a candle to the anniversary of a house purchase, but still... ;)

So Hubs, knowing full well that this is Sludge's weekend, asks for a few hours on Sunday so DeeDee can be at this family bbq. He's giving up an entire weekend for her to be with Sludge and the family, so he's hoping that a few hours of her weekend so DeeDee can enjoy something similar with the other half of her family might not be too much to ask for.

Yeah, you pretty much know where I'm going with this, dontcha...

She said no. Apparently she has to work on Saturday so really has her heart set on spending time with DeeDee on Sunday. Now that she has to work (which she blames Hubs for - since he left she now has to work to try to support herself) she doesn't have as much time with DeeDee so she doesn't want to give it up.

Now, a part of me can see this, understand it even. But when Hubs points out that he gets to see her four days a month and Sludge gets to spend time with her for the other 24-27 days, maybe she could see her way clear to sacrifice a few hours of time for an important family gathering.

But that's only what rational people would do. And Sludge is a lot of things - rational sure ain't one of them.

Poor Hubs. I just hate sitting back and watching him bash his skull against the brick wall that is her fat head. 'Cause no matter what happens, he's the one that walks away bloody.

So they had another one of their monster truck jam, smasher derby conversations. I know this for a fact, 'cause as with most of the convos they have - he had her on speaker phone.

I know I know...not the nicest thing to do, but hear me out. One, she talks for so long his flippin ears would fall off and his arm would perma-cramp if he had to hold the phone up to his head while she prattles on. So even if I'm not around, he has her on speaker.

The other reason is that Hubs and I talk about all the stuff that happens during a conversation, so it's always a great time saver for me to just hear what she says so we don't have to waste subsequent precious time recounting the conversation that was. We already devote too much of our time and energy to discussing her - no need to add to it if we can avoid it, ya know?

So tonight she's on speaker and they're having a lovely tete a tete. In a nutshell, Hubs is detailing how he is looking forward to the day that they formalize their agreement via the family law process. And she just laughs, saying, 'yeah, me too. I can't wait to get full custody, 'cause I will you know. No judge will take her away from me and you'll have nothing.'

Yeaaaah, I lost it.

In one of those I'm-hovering-over-my-own-body-watching-myself-do-something-stupid moments, I actually yell out, loud enough that she can hear me, 'get over yourself! Are you really that naive to think you stand a chance?'

To which she yells back, 'shut up, diva'. Well, she didn't call me diva of course - she used my real name, but I'm sure you get the point.

So I obviously have to backtrack a bit - heaven forbid she thinks I've been listening the whole time (tee hee), so I yell out something along the lines of me just coming into the room and hearing this and I just had to comment. That placated her and she never mentioned anything again...just goes to show how inane she really is. Yeesh.

I just felt so badly afterwards. Hubs wasn't mad at me or anything, or so he says, but I just was so pissed off at myself for completely losing control. Like the poor guy doesn't have enough to worry about with her - then I jump in a make it all that much worse for him. Blech. Oh well, at least in this instance her stupidity actually pays off - it didn't seem to add any extra fuel to her already raging fire.

Ah, it's times like these when I totally dig the virtual dumping ground that is my blog. I can barf all this crap onto the screen and just let it goooooo. Beauty.

And now I'm spent. Trashed. I'm coming down from my latest rage-orama and am sleepy. Just plum tuckered.

And to top it all off, it looks like the Sens are out of the running for the cup. Hope is fading, Sens fans...sorry for your loss. Or should I say sorry for your four losses.

Eek - that might have stung a bit. Guess it was the die hard Leafs fan in me roaring back to life. 'Cause hockey's over now so we're all on a level playing field, we've all got just as much of a chance as the next team. So say it with me, gals....GO LEAFS GO!!!!

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

7 comments on "My rage has a first name, it's S-L-U-D-G-E..."

Anonymous said...

I feel like punching her for you!!
ARGH, she reminds me of my cousin's ex.. EXACTLY the same way...when it makes sense, even though he only has his daugher every 2nd weekend and 1 night a week, if there's an occasion in their family or whatever, he'll always accomodate, but God forbid he asks the B**** (her nickname in my head) for anything, it's always no. And it's so pathetic that she puts her own interests/selfishness in front of her child's...she (B**** and possibly Sludge for that matter) clearly has her own mental problems..but we always fear what effect it will have on their daughter, I can only imagine what she's learning in that household..I'm off in my own rant now..the custody process is so skewed against the father it's ridiculous, I know I'm a woman and should be in favour of it but when you see it from the other side it's pretty sad.


Anonymous said...

Diva - I'm not sure if you've heard of this or not but in every city in Ontario you can get mediation to come to a legally binding agreement - My mom is one of these mediators in Ottawa. If need be she goes to court and presents the findings to the judge. I'd definitely look into it - your hubby definitely has a shot at shared custody if not full.

Anonymous said...

Ugggh...that Sludge! (very appropo name!)

Sole custody is not as easy for Moms to get as it used to be.

From experience, I would advise you and hubs to document EVERYTHING.

If you can rig up your phone to record conversations....go for it!

And...if you are going the family law route...I would suggest the Office of the Children's Lawyer do an's free and Dee Dee will have a say.

Speaking of Dee Dee...doesn't she get a choice in going to your BBQ? She sounds much more mature than Sludge....just a thought!

Christy on 7 June 2007 at 16:37 said...

Oh Diva, I'm sorry you guys are going through this again. I sure wish I could give her a piece of my mind for you!!! Chin-up and keeping going things will somehow work out in the your favor of course :)

Anonymous said...

Maybe she said that because she knew you were listening (?)

divajen on 7 June 2007 at 21:11 said...

Not sure what 'that' you're referring to but nah, in general that would be giving her too much credit. :)

janny said...

Seriously!? That lady seems like one odd ball! Sorry you yet again had to go through this Diva! Hope you guys can get this resolved and that DeeDee can be with you guys this weekend for those few hours! And I agree with one of the previous comments, if you and hubs can record your phone convos with her, do it! We have it set up where I work and it's actually really easy... We haven't used it in years, but still a fairly easy thing to do...

Good luck with everything! :)




This many divas have come to read my rants since January 30, 2007:

'Cause everyone has a dash of diva in them Copyright 2008 Shoppaholic Designed by Ipiet Templates Image by Tadpole's Notez