Wednesday, 21 March 2007

The Return of the Sludge


Oh dear. This day has not gotten off to the best of starts, I must say.

First, I woke up 10 minutes earlier today, sick and tired of being super stressed and flustered in our attempt to leave on time. Which means that I got 10 less minutes of sleep. Boo. Granted, that's not enough to throw my hands up in the air and say, 'this day is ruined - ruined!!!' - even I'm not that much of a diva.

Remember my what-in-the-world-will-I-wear rant of yesterday's post? Well, it took a bit of finessing, but I finally manged to choose the right attire for today's mix of conditions and activities. I slipped on my pink sweater/jacket thingie, and Hubs and I left the house.

Where our front closet is. The closet that currently houses my fuchsia pea coat. The pocket of which safely cradles my TTC metropass. Which means I have to spend an additional $10.50 on five tokens so I can transport my carcass around town today, when my carcauss haulage would have been pre-paid if I'd had the stupid pass.

Sucks.

I come to this realization as I vacate my train and head into Union station. I'm already a bit bleary eyed because the 7:17 train was arriving just as Hubs dropped me off, and since you never look a gift GO train in the mouth, I skipped my morning ritual of procuring coffee at the station in order to make the train.

So I'm caffeine deprived as well. But wait - it gets even better.

I'm making my way into Union as my cell phone goes off and it's Hubs. This is not good. Hubs and I do not have sweet little 'how's your day goin'?' convos at 8:04 am. He's calling for a reason, and chances are, it's not a good one.

You see, Hubs calls DeeDee every night before she goes to bed to see how her day goes, and every morning before she goes to school to tell her to have a good day, etc. Awww.....I know. He's such a good guy and a super dedicated dad. Very impressive, my Hubs. The only problem is that every time he calls to talk to DeeDee, Sludge wants to get on the phone with him and bitch about one thing or another.

Annnnnd today is no exception.

To set the scene - DeeDee, like most almost 10 year old girls, loves babies. She adores my nephew, loves spending time with him, has all sorts of dolls that are her 'children' (please let that be as close as she comes to real parenthood for at least another 10 years), and relishes any opportunity she has to be where she and a baby will share the same oxygen.

Apparently Sludge's 17 year old cousin went and got herself knocked up, so they're having a baby shower for her this weekend - Saturday afternoon, in a town far, far away. This is supposed to be DeeDee's weekend with us, but she, being the huge baby lover, wants to go to this shower. Not that the baby's even born yet, but I suppose that's secondary.

So, Sludge jumps on this, calls Hubs and says that he'll have to trade weekends, but he can have her for two weekends in a row. Gee thanks. Then he points out one thing.....

....the Christina Aguilera/Pussycat Dolls concert is this Sunday.

The one that caused so much 'upset' back in January. The one that I was to take DeeDee to, and that was that.

Well, now that we're but five days away, Sludge is up to her old tricks again - if she doesn't go with me, she can't go at all. Awesome.

So Hubs rightly calls her on her shit, saying that's why she wants to change weekends, so he can't get her to the concert with me. Ooooo boy, this is gonna get fun.

And here we are yet again, ladies and gentlemen. Hubs gets DeeDee on the phone and tells her what her mom has said and she's upset - of course she's upset! Part of me, upon hearing this from Hubs on my cell as I'm standing in Union, wants to call Sludge, get her on the phone and give her a piece of my mind. But then I remember I need all of the pieces I've got and that it likely wouldn't do anything positive (other than make me feel better) so I drop it.

Hubs is heading out to see DeeDee tonight after work as CJ and I are going for dinner and to see We Will Rock You - our Christmas gift to one another. I hope he has some time to talk some sense into her, but as with all things that Sludge gets her greasy paws in, this one will likely be a game day decision.

Fortunately CJ and I have this great standby rule as a pillar of our friendship - if we ever need a seat filler for one reason or another, we happily and willingly accompany the other to whatever is on the playbill that evening without even a second thought about being invited at the very last minute.

So when I see her tonight, I'm going to get her to pencil me in for Sunday night, 'cause it looks like it might be more of a ladies event than a girls night out.

I know that if I was super altruistic I'd just turn the tickets over to Sludge and let her get her way yet again, but this time, I just can't. I hate, I really do hate, the fact that DeeDee might not get to go to this concert, but I just flat out refuse to be walked on again and again by a woman who detests my very existence and refers to me as the other 'cancer' she has in her life. And I ain't talking astrological signs - I'm a Leo.

So for once, I have put my foot down and I totally intend to keep it there. She's gotten away with walking all over everyone with no consequence to her (everyone always bends because it's in DeeDee's best interest - case in point, her sharing Christmas with us) and I'm just not going to stand by and let it happen anymore.

I realize there are some of you that will disagree with me and my hard line on this one because in the end DeeDee is the one who has to bear the real brunt of this, but sometimes a diva has to stand up for herself, especially when she's spent the last 2.5 years bending over for the greater good.

And that's your daily dash - the early edition. That's it for today though - I won't be home until well after midnight, so you'll have to wait until tomorrow for a new post. How's your diva doin'?

11 comments on "The Return of the Sludge"

Anonymous said...

Diva - I completely agree with your decision - even if DeeDee is slightly miffed about it maybe she'll realize it's her mother's fault and not yours - hopefully. It's sad that she wants to play such games with her daughter's heart. Good luck and have fun tonight!
Grimeysgal

Anonymous said...

I can't believe she's pulling this stunt again! GRRRR!! I just hope DeeDee still gets to go with you! Either way, have fun tonight, and give us a review on Sunday's show!

Christy on 21 March 2007 at 12:10 said...

You go girl!!! Don't give into Sludge at all. I do feel sorry for DeeDee if she doesn't get to go, but you can try to make it up with some wonderful diva outing for the two of you at a later date I am sure.

Good Luck, I am really crossing my fingers it works out in the end.

Anonymous said...

Hope your day gets better and hope you have fun at the show tonight.

Try not to think about that other stuff too much. It will all work out how it is supposed to.

Hugs.

Anonymous said...

Hey Diva:
You go girl, stand your ground. I have a 10yr.old kid myself...given the choices upon her, I'm pretty sure she'll pick the concert with you over the baby shower. Has anyone told her how boring those showers really are?

If things get ugly, your hubby has to call his ex-wife on this one, and step in with these scenarios:
1. stating it is actually his weekend and he does not choose to give it up.
2. Reaching a compromise where Dee Dee can do both; give up the Saturday so she can go to the shower on the condition your hubby gets her no later than noon on Sunday.
3. Hubby calls her bluff and states she will be violating their agreement if she refuses him access this weekend. Judges do not hold very high regard to Moms (or Dads) who withhold access to suit their own means.

I can't believe a Mother would act this way with her kid. She sounds like she needs to get herself a boyfriend/new husband and then you could point out "if the shoe was on the other foot"...

Never in a million years would I expect my ex to hand over concert tickets he bought and expect that I be the one to go with my kid. That's just ludicrous (?sp)

And never would I expect my ex to insist on spending Christmas with me and my new hubby.

I think you and hubby have gone above and beyond to make things good for Dee Dee but there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough.

Dee Dee needs to see that she has two families...the one with her Mom and the one with you and your hubby. Sludge should be eternally grateful that her kid's father is so involved with her life.

Dee Dee is coming to an age where she will very soon understand manipulation, if she doesn't already. Give her time and she will see Sludge for what she really is.

And you, my dear, are the best step-mom ever! You made the right choice and if I hear you coughed up those tickets and gave them to Sludge I will never read your blog again! (How's that for a threat, wink wink).

Anonymous said...

Ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto!
No Sludge, no way!!

GMS

Anonymous said...

I agree with everything everyone else has said, just wanted to add: if DeeDee doesn't go to the concert and your friend can't go either, you know where to find me ;)

~Leanne

Shoe_gal said...

Ooh, poor Dee Dee. I mean really, what's up with her mother? But good for you for putting in boundaries.

I, too, am free for the concert!!

Janny said...

Have to agree with everyone on this! Sad for DeeDee, but I wouldn't want to give away those tickets either (To which, I wanted to add, willing to drive from Ottawa if none of your other seat fillers are available! HiHi!)! Maybe if you explain to DeeDee that there won't BE an actual Baby at the Baby Shower, she might change her mind about wanting to go and you guys won't have to switch weekends!

Hope it all works out for y'a! Have a great time tonight too!! And where did you get a lovely fuschia Pea Coat?? I want me one too!! :P

Jennifer on 22 March 2007 at 13:20 said...

I hope you enjoyed "We will rock you" I want the review.
Down with Sludge!!!!! One day Dee Dee will see her for what she is.
And I will put my name on the list if you need company at the concert. Could use some crazy girly group dancing.
Later
Brimstada

Jill on 22 March 2007 at 13:57 said...

Yes, what is a pink pea coat? Any pics? Would love to see!!!

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