Tuesday, 13 March 2007

What's a diva to do?

Years ago, someone somewhere told me they could read palms. So, like any good self-absorbed diva, I thrust my palm into her hand and quite uncouthly demanded that she 'do me'. She stared at my palm, looked up and me and said, 'well, you're going to live a good life - but it will be short'.

Uh...yeah. I'm not kidding. And this is why I don't go to psychics, palm readers, tea leaf readers, roadside quacks, I-can-tell-your-future-by-the-number-of-hairs-on-your-sweater folk.

It's also why I've decided that, as I make my approach to birthday number 34, I'm well overdue for my mid-life crisis. So cue the strings, people, it's soul searching time!!

First, let me preface my remarks by saying that I love my job. Have for years, still do. But I'm kinda getting close to hitting that wall - you know, the one that just jumps into your career path every few years in an effort to make you either alter your course, or smash into it, head-first.

Given a choice, I'd really rather prefer to do the former.

It's not that I'm actually looking for a new job - on the contrary. I don't want to leave where I currently am - I totally love the people I work with, the 'clients' I interact with daily, and the cause we all work to eradicate.

I've just glimpsed that wall in the distance, and I'm really not sure how to navigate it this time.

You see, this particular wall is a little different than others I've faced in the past. This one has me pondering if what I'm doing for my daily bread is what I SHOULD be doing for said bread. I'm way beyond second guessing my chosen profession, at least I thought I was, but for the first time I can understand the statistic that says the average professional will change careers (not jobs, but careers) three to seven times during their working lives. I've been in the same industry since I started contributing to Canada's tax system...is it time for me to make the first of my three to seven moves?

And yet, the more I ponder it, the less I believe I need to completely refocus to be happier. I DO love what I do, and can truly see myself working in the industry in one capacity or another for years to come. But I do know something is missing...somewhere, I'm just not entirely fulfilled in my day to day working life.

Home life is fantastic - newly married, new home, a relative degree of financial security, my very own purse room....what more could a girl want? Maybe the 'success' of my home life has just allowed me to direct more mental attention to the other side of my being's coin - my work life.

Since starting this blog, I've really gotten back into writing and being creative. I love the thrill of it, the way words just drip from my digits and magically pool on my screen. I must admit, I thrive on the feedback I receive here (I read and internalize every comment, you have no idea - this is but one curse of divahood) and nothing feeds a diva's queen sized ego like positive reinforcement.

Which brings us back to my midlife crisis - is it time to explore what else I could be doing with my working hours? Is it time to put my money where my sexy pout is, and see what just might happen if I give writing a serious shot? Maybe, maybe.

And then again, maybe not.

I think I'll try to tackle this particular wall one brick at a time (decked out in a tiara and boa to ensure onlookers will recognize me without question) so as to avoid the painful whiplash-y spasms head on collisions are known for. I think I'll attempt to supplement my working life with more creative avenues in my down time as opposed to just up and leaving the security (both financial and...well, financial - this diva's got a mortgage to pay) of my 9-5 daily grind.

'Cause let's face it - after all this pondering I realize two very important things: I'm nowhere near ready to up and abandon my day job, and whiplash can really mess up your sleep patterns. Lord knows I'll need all the rest I can get if I'm gonna try to make a go of this whole writin' thang in that urban myth we like to call 'spare time'.

But at least I'll know I've tried. And who knows - maybe this time, as with our attempts to get pregnant, the joy truly is in the trying.

And that's your daily dash - how's your diva doin'?

5 comments on "What's a diva to do?"

Anonymous said...

I think it's great that you love your job, but I absolutely encourage you to try your hand at writing. Don't quit your job, but maybe spend some quality time on weekends with your laptop.

I'm unabashedly addicted to your blog, every word flows so flawlessly, I could read it all day. I think you should consider writing a bit of that chicklit that we all love. You're already one of my favourite authors, I know you could sell a book without even trying! Give it a whirl, I'll pick up the first copy!

-Erin (AJsLove)

Janny said...

put my money where my sexy pout is First off, I think this is my fave sentence EVER!!!

Second, I agree with Erin up there, I would read ANY chicklit you wrote! I adore your blog (just got caught up today!), and with witty fun phrases like the one I just put up there, I am not worried, you would be a success! I truly think you could write something absolutely amazing! They do say, most books are based, if only a little, on a person's personal experiences, and I am sure you could make a fortune with just a few of the anecdotes I've read on here! Seriously, I am all of 23 (24 in June!!), and I wish my life will be as fun and exciting as yours! Complete with the purse room (seriously, can I move in?! LOL)!!
Give it a shot! I will be in line with Erin to pick up a copy, just let me know when and where! ;)


Anonymous said...

Go for it! There has got to be a way that you can write other stuff...(But please, please, please keep your blog going)...and continue your day job until you find the right balance.

I would even pick up two copies of your chick lit. But please promise to not give up your blog. This week alone, Sunday - Wednesday morning was far too long to wait for a posting.

As for mid-life changes, it happens to everyone.

Anonymous said...

quote "well over-due for my mid-life crisis" ?????
Girl, you are 34. I am 44. I still haven't had one. My neighbour (who is a few years older than me) went out and bought herself a motorcycle this summer....now that is a mid-life crisis.
I found when I turned 40 I felt like life was just beginning, anything done before was just setting me up for the "real thing".
Life is great, I've got my routines, ideals, dreams, fantasies and attitudes all in check now.
Don't ever think for a minute you are at mid-life cuz you're just getting warmed up girlfriend!
Your blog is great....funny, well written, "strikes a chord".
I'm thinking you must be a hoot to work with, so don't quit your job or your co-workers will go into mourning. Besides, you work for a non-profit and there is great humanitarianism in that. Now that I've used my big word for the day, gotta get back to earning the bacon.

Anonymous said...

I already consider you chick-lit!
That would be amazing if you could put your talen to use making money!! I have no idea how one goes about writing an actual book, but if everyone thought that way, no books would be written, would they? Frankly your blog itself has the makings of a chick lit/Bridget Jones style book, only of course, you have many more purses that her, plus a room to store them in, hehe.





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