Monday, 13 August 2007

Another banner day...

Greetings, all. Hope you had a fantastic weekend! We had a blast at the wedding, but holy hell was it hot. I don't think I've ever sweat that much in my entire life. And I wasn't the poor fool all dressed up in a full tux, replete with vest and everything. Ouch. Hubs sure was a dripping pool by the end of the day.

It was great to head back to Kingston for the nuptuals. We had the rehearsal dinner at Chez Piggy, a K-town institution, and we even rounded the weekend out with brunch there on Sunday. I managed to have White Mountain ice cream on Friday night, and before we headed back to the hotel after the wedding, we made a wee stop at Bubba's so I could indulge in the best poutine on the face of the planet. Sooooooo good, especially after a night of drinking.

Yes, I ended up drinking. I hadn't drank a drop of alcohol in almost two weeks, as once again we found ourselves in that delightful torture known as the two week wait. Even though my clinic was closed I was able to convince my doc to give me an ultrasound so we could see how things were going. Sure enough, it looked like there was one good follicle preparing itself for release, so we were off to the races. We got to 'try the old fashioned way' which is relatively new for us and was a bit of a novelty, really.

But in the end, none of it worked. Hence the banner day.

This was my last chance to get pregnant before I turn 34. And now it's gone. And that totally sucks.

As with last time, I knew it was coming. All the tests I'd done at home (or on the road, for that matter) had come back negative, so today's blood test result was really no surprise.

Didn't stop me from sobbing in my office yet again, but at least this time it was a little less intense than that first one. We have to take our small comforts where they come.

To add a bit of salt to my gaping wound, a few minutes after getting the call, I get an email from a friend telling me to use her home email from here on out as she's now off work, waiting for her baby to arrive. A few hours later I get stuck beside a pregnant woman on the GO train.

And now I have cramps.

In some ways, cramps are good. It means another cycle is getting ready to begin (yippee!!) and we have yet another shot to get knocked up. At least this time the clinic's not closed right around ovulation time. Small mercies. Although if my math is correct, it looks like our next insemination might be right around or on my birthday. Yay for me. Happy birthday!! Nice card from Hubs in the morning, then an hour later flat on my back with a catheter shoved in my hoo ha. Do I know how to celebrate, or what? Sheesh.

So hasn't been the best day. Thankfully tomorrow is jam packed with work stuff so there'll be lots to keep my mind off it all, then we'll be out celebrating celtic kitten's birthday (so many August birthdays - you'd think there was no other way to keep warm in November/December...insane!) tomorrow night. Then there's only Wednesday and Thursday to get through, and I'm off again on Friday and Monday so we can head up to Sudbury for my step brother's wedding. Yep, two weddings this summer, and they're back to back at opposite ends of the province.

I'm looking forward to it though! The wedding part should be great, but I will admit it will be hard to spend the entire weekend with my now-very-noticeably-pregnant sister. Sigh. Nothing against her personally of course - it's just so damned hard to have it right there in front of my eyes. Especially since we all know she's having a girl this time.

Oh great, here come the tears again.

On that most happy note, I'll bid you all a fond adieu. Hope your day has been better than mine. And on a purely selfish note, I hope my tomorrow is much better than my today.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

2 comments on "Another banner day..."

celtic_kitten on 14 August 2007 at 09:45 said...

Well, Diva.... I've got all my appendages crossed that your today is better than your yesterday ('cuz it's now tomorrow and not today in relation to your post... are you confused yet? 'cuz I think I am *laugh*)

And if I'd not, well then bring on the booze at dinner and I promise I'll walk you across to Union afterwards and pour you into a comfy seat on the train ;)

Wannabefrenchie on 14 August 2007 at 18:30 said...

shitty days suck ass. if it makes you feel any better i just got offline with a guy on lava who immediately stopped talking to me once he saw my full body shot on lava!
and this, from a self proclaimed hick!
deep breath, big brother's on tonight.
take care,
love you




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