Greetings from this side of vacation-land!

It's true - I've been on vacation for so long (sarcasm) that my mind forgets to do the normal, every day things. Like write in my blog on a daily basis. When I popped over to Blogger world and discovered that my last entry was almost a week ago, I recoiled in horror! So unlike me! The non-vacationing diva would never do such a thing, never let such a lapse transpire. Vacationing diva sincerely hopes you'll forgive her this transgression and just be so damned relived that I'm actually back that you'll put the whole thing behind you instantly. Sounds good to me.

So what's been going on? Let's see....went out for dinner for my brother in law's birthday on Saturday. We went to Casey, one of the many fine establishments on Hubs' most hated list. Yes, he really has such a list, I'm not exaggerating. We seriously had not been to Casey's in almost a year because, in Hubs' mind, a) their service constantly sucked, b) they changed their menu and all the good stuff was gone, c) you now had to pay for previous freebies like salad with entrees and d) they now make their club sandwich on a floofie little bun instead of bread, it's not triple layered and the turkey isn't even real. That was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. But good ole Hubs, he sucked it up for BIL's birthday, and off we went. Not that anyone really likes Casey's all that much, but hey - the birthday person eats for free, hence the restaurant selection by said BIL.

Sunday we traipsed out to the country for dinner at my dad's place. It was my little (ha - little, she's like 20 now) sister's birthday on Monday, so we celebrated everyone's all at once. Including mine, now only two weeks away. So strange how they creep up on you every year.

We've also had more fun with our car than is humanly possible. We have a 2006 Kia Rio 5 (hardly befitting the diva persona, I know, but it is kinda cute) and over the past little while it's developed this annoying habit of not starting. Kinda cramps that whole 'get in the car and go' thing. First time it happened was mid-July. I was hanging with my mom at my sisters place and when we tried to go out shopping, no dice. Car no start. But later that day, it did and I was able to get home.

Strange.

So Hubs takes it to the dealership to get checked out. I, in my infinite mechanical wisdom, do declare that the alternator is the problem. Prognostication is a fine art that I practice with great frequency but all too little accuracy. Sigh.

$130 later, we're given the car back and told that it was the spark plugs. Doh. Wrong again. We both thought it was weird, but hey - we're neither of us mechanics and we don't have those sassy little diagnostic computer thingies, so we'll go with spark plugs.

Until, that is, the damned car fails to start again. We give it a bit of gas and it will go, but now this is just plain annoying. I go to WalMart with DeeDee to fetch something, come home with the wrong something, Hubs hops in the car to return said wrong something at the WalMart, and as soon as he comes out - dead. Dead car. No turn over, no nothing.

And he didn't have his cell with him.

So very unhappy Hubs walks home in the blistering heat and stifling humidity to call roadside assistance. Poor sweaty Hubs then has to walk back to the WalMart to wait for the tow truck and pray it doesn't take long. Pretty soon some Joe guy drives up in his little green car and says he's roadside assistance. Hilarious. So glad to see that money well spent. He boosts the car, and Hubs, now sweaty and supremely pissed off, heads home in air conditioned splendor.

Back to the dealership we go. This time, they replace everything in the fuse box/central computer. New wires, everything. Fortunately all covered under warranty. They tell us that some other Rio's have had this problem and this seems to solve it. Fabu.

This is Friday afternoon.

Saturday afternoon we go to Shoppers to stock up on all our fave Life brand products (I'm soooo a sucker for those 10x the points things). We walk out with our loot and, you guessed it, the car doesn't start.

And NEITHER of us have our cell phones. This never happens...ever. But they're both sitting at home safely nestled in their chargers. Where they are completely useless to us. Fanfuckintastic.

So the kind and generous people at Shoppers let us use their phone to call Roadside Assistance. Sure enough, 35 minutes later, same Joe guy shows up again, and boots us, again, and we're on our way. He asks us if they've done a load test on the battery, that it might not be holding the charge long enough to get us started again after a short stop. Hubs manages to catch his new best friend, the Kia service person, on the phone and she promises to take care of us on Tuesday. Goodie.

Throughout the rest of the weekend, it's a tag team effort everywhere we go. If we need to pop into the grocery store, one shops at warp speed while the other waits in the running car so we don't have to call for another boost. Great for the freakin environment, people. Sigh.

Tuesday is manic. I have an appointment to pick a rental car up for me while I'm off this week at 8. Hubs drops me off, then heads up to Kia to put the car in (third time has to be the charm) and get their loaner so he can head out to work.

8:30 goes by and I'm still waiting at Enterprise to pick up my car. I'm now certifiably not happy. They've told me that a car is coming for me from their sister branch the next town over, and they apologize for the delay. Right. I'm super tired, I haven't showered yet (I sincerely expected this to be a quick in and out thing) so I'm starting to look a bit sketchy, and I really want a flippin coffee by this point. Argh.

Meanwhile, Hubs is up at Kia and - surprise - no loaner car. But good ole Tammy arranges to rent one for Hubs from, you guessed it, the Enterprise location from which my rental car has recently departed. Oh the irony.

FINALLY my car arrives and you can imagine my shock and chagrin when I realize I'll be driving...another Kia for the week. No shower, no coffee, a half hour plus wait, and now a freakin Kia. Not that they could have known, but come on!!! Then I realize that it's a Spectra and a nice upgrade from what we usually drive, so I chill out a bit.

I chill out even further when the manager of Enterprise offers me $100 off my rental because I had to wait for so long. So here and now I say snaps to you, Enterprise Rent a Car, for empowering your employees to make serious decisions that have a real impact on customer satisfaction. Any animosity or lack of coffee demon voodoo vibes I was previously sending your way vanished in that instant. I reckon if you're willing to pay me $100 for half an hour of my time you're in the ballpark, so consider thyself forgiven.

So Hubs has his car and heads to work, I have my car and head home to the shower (with one little stop at Timmy's). I play around on the computer a bit, then head out to Costco, poke around at the library...very Desperate Housewives of me. Kinda.

Then I head down to meet my gal pal Celtic Kitten as she's known in these parts for wings and such at Shoeless Joe's while my house is once again overrun by geeks. We had a great meal - good food, good conversation, excellent commiseration, and we were both home earlier than we would normally be after a Tuesday Night Distraction Club. Fab evening.

Today was a blissfully slower start. Got to sleep in, have some coffee and surf the net, then headed out to where our car was to pick up the registration so I could renew my sticker. Yeah, forgot to take it out before we dropped the danged thing off. Not the smartest kids on the block, us. Get the sticker done, grab a healthy pita at the Pita Pit, then make my way over to the new Aveda salon to get my nails done. Now THAT's much more diva, wouldn't you say? My nails are now a fabulous fuchsia that will expertly match the clutch, necklace and bracelet I purchased as accessories for my little black and white dress for this weekend's wedding festivities.

I came home to a poor, sick Hubs who's battling something flu-esque. Poor guy is weak, feverish, nauseated, and headach-y. So I've stocked the fridge with Poweraide and am almost virtually shoving it down this throat.

Which brings us to this very moment. We're lying in bed, Hubs is watching the first Borne movie and moaning a bit, and I've just told him it's time to drink more Poweraide, that his body is craving fluids and it's my job to make sure he answers those cravings. All I need is my whip (and Hubs to be feeling better, of course) and it would be a very different evening in the diva's bedroom indeed.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?