Sunday, 11 February 2007

My kingdom for a comfy mattress..

Everything that hurt yesterday hurts twice as much today. The body is a marvel of biologic engineering, and today, mine is completely out of whack. I need a tune up, nay, a complete overhaul to get myself back into some semblance of shape so as to survive the week ahead.

Today we returned to the house and painted some more. I think we're pretty close to being done - just two of the bathrooms to go - and now the entire place looks so much better...and reeks of paint.

I'd show you pictures...but Hubs in his infinite wisdom brought the camera home last night, so we thus far we have but before shots, and no afters. Ugh. And since we won't be back in the place until moving day - Thursday, woo hoo!! - no snaps until then. So sorry to disappoint, dear and patient readers! But I promise you, photos of the transformation are most definitely on their way.

So now I'm attempting to blog my day into the history books before I can hit the proverbial hay. It's a fine line - I'm soooo sleepy, but I want to spend the minimum amount of time necessary to get through the day tomorrow in our current bed.

You see, our current mattress is not the greatest, hence why we're getting a completely new set delivered to our new abode on moving day from our friendly neighbourhood Leon's store. In order to lessen the impact of spring on spine from current mattress, a few months ago we purchased a big, fluffy, mattress pad - seriously, six inches thick and comfy as hell. Made sleeping on our mattress somewhat doable.

As long as you could get past the burial plot look it made of our bed, that is. The puffiness had no choice but to form to the shape of our respective bodies, so if you were looking at the bed from any type of angle, you'd see two deep and somewhat eerie indentations where our bodies would be while we're sleeping. Fine for slumber time - downright creepy the rest of the time. But again, I digress.

This all has a point, I promise.

So, last night after painting, we finally return to the apartment tired, grimy and sore. Hubs immediately proceeds to our bedroom to change his clothes and as he opens the door, out pads our massive tabby cat Maxx. Eek! He'd been shut in our bedroom since Friday at about 8:30 am - and it was 10pm Saturday. We do a quick survey and say a silent prayer of thanks that he hadn't voided his feline bladder or bowels on our beautiful brown and blue duvet cover - protecting it is half of the reason we close the damned door every day as it is.

I'm so excited at the prospect of bed I even blog about it, then I proceed to shuffle my way to our bedroom to slip away to blissful sleepland. Grunting and groaning with every step, I pull the covers back, fall down onto the bed, and put my head down on the glorious pillow.

And my neck comes into contact with a huge puddle of cat piss.

Yes, cat piss. Apparently, we did not notice this spot (and it's accompanying smell) on our first pass following the great release. I could have cried. It soaked through the duvet cover, the duvet, the sheets (both flat and fitted) the hugely puffy mattress pad thingy, and yes, even down into the freaking craptastic mattress itself.

Since we're moving, all of our linens are packed. In boxes, in the spare room. We have no spare sets of sheets anywhere - and I can't sleep inhaling pee pee smells, so what the hell are we going to do? Our coping skills are non-existent at best and all I want to do is lay my weeping bones to rest. We both sit there on the edge of the bed for a minute or two, not sure at all what to do next.

Finally we get up, strip the bed, and head to the spare room to unearth something worth sleeping on. At this point, I'm ready to pass out on towels laid out on our now flipped mattress - I simply haven't the energy for any serious digging.

I must have done something good this week, because a not-yet-taped box of linens was easily stumbled upon and held a bounty of riches, including a fitted sheet and queen comforter. That was all we needed to see. Finally, finally, it was off to bed.

Right back onto that spine crushing mattress. Couldn't have picked a worse time to piss on the mattress pad, Maxx. Then again, is there ever a good time for mattress pad pissing? I think not.

The saving grace of this saga is that we were able to take our kitty soiled linens to our new home and wash them all in the glorious space that is our second floor laundry room. And what a concept - no loonies or quarters required! So now our bedding is completely cleaned, pee free, folded and at the house, ready and waiting for our new mattress to arrive on Thursday.

I guess every cloud of cat piss has a silver lining after all.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

5 comments on "My kingdom for a comfy mattress.."

Anonymous said...

Oh God "every cloud of cat piss has a silver lining after all" I know this saga was not a great ending to your day (to put it mildly!) but damn did it make me laugh!!
I feel for you on the painting side, we had to paint our entire apartment when we moved in this past October (not to mention cleaning of LAYERS of dirt, I don't think the previous tenants ever heard of cleaning products) and I don't think I can bear to look at a paint can for a few years!!!
Can't wait to see your pics!


shoe_gal said...

I'm home sick with a cold...and your blog was just what I needed.

Cat piss? My sides are sore from laughing!!!!!!

beamingbridetobe said...

And my neck comes into contact with a huge puddle of cat piss.

(I literally spat out my water I was drinking when I read this :O)

OH NOO!!! I feel your pain..I too have come across prezzies from our cat Gracie.

Hope you are feeling better today!
Can't wait to see pictures of your new place!

IrishGrl said...

That must have been so annoying - I too have cats and have had the pleasure of them peeing in my laundry basket once. No matter how many times I washed those clothes I still smelt pee so I am wondering what magic trick you have of getting the smell out??

Can't wait to see pics of the new place!

Anonymous said...

Well at least the prezzie wasn't left on your lovely tootsies while snoozing... That's what my former kitty decided to do when I was quite a bit younger... let's just say it was messy! And quite the insult!
WBer Grimeysgal




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