Today was my 'one of those days' days

Now before you jump to frettin', nothing abjectly terrible happened...it was just one of those days. I pulled myself out of bed via sheer force of will - and the knowledge that there were going to be 8 people sitting around a table waiting for me at 8:30, give or take - bundled myself up and headed out into the freezing cold.

I've mentioned before that I take the subway/public transit to work on a daily basis. We do have a car that Hubs takes to work every day because he does a lot of driving around during the day, and his work simply isn't anywhere near as accessible to transit as mine. But on days like today, I envy him. Envy him sitting in an increasingly warm car with no smelly, sniffling people pressing up against him or not moving out of the way when he opens the door to get in.

I envy him because when a full bus passes him by, it's no big deal. When a full bus passes ME by, I have to stand outside in the freezing cold even longer, or hightail it down the street and walk to the station. The colder I get, the more I allow myself to be taken overy by the green monster of jealousy thinking of him all warm on his morning trip to work.

Meanwhile, I'm freeezing my sweet bippies off and hauling ass to hop on the Better Way. Just so I can rub elbows with crazy sick people who rub their slimy hands on the very pole I'm holding on to for stability. As the train screeches to a halt between stations and just sits there. In the dark. Not moving. As my meeting time draws nearer and nearer. While Hubs is already at work, 'cause our car gets him there that much faster.

I'm a lucky, lucky gal.

Public transit aside, I make it to work on time, the meeting goes well, everyone's happy, back to the office I go. Then it's into another meeting where, well, I have to get a bit defensive on the job front. You see, with all the stuff going on with the house closing, etc, I forgot to brief the big boss on the substance of this morning's meeting, which he was attending. All got worked out because I'm addicted to the Crack (CrackBerry, that is) so I answered my phone yesterday while standing in my new kitchen because I knew it was the office calling. While I was on a vacation day. But I answered it because I knew they were calling for a reason, we dealt with it, and all was fine.

But there are always ramifications. Gotta love consequences. As I said, all worked out just fine, but there's still that moment of discussing things with your supervisor that's never really fun - when you truly are in the wrong. So I fell on my sword, took responsibility ('cause it really was my fault - I forgot to do something, plain and simple) and apologized to those that had to deal with the fallout in my absence. Goodie.

I don't know about you, but I take my professional reputation very, very seriously. It's the one thing that I can truly call my own and take control over. You can look at me and judge me by my appearance etc (call me fat, tell me I have fabulous accessories - I've had much experience at both ends of the spectrum) and there's really nothing I can do about that. Empirically yes, I am fat (can I tell you how much I absolutely abhor that word? But I type it begrudgingly because as of yet there's no alternative that doesn't sound cheesy and self-serving) and yes, I do have fabulous accessories. Not much room for debate there.

But my professional reputation I can, by and large, control. It's up to me if I do a good job - no one else. And you know what? I'm dammed good at what I do. I don't have a problem saying it, typing it, shouting it from the rooftops - because I've worked very hard to get where I am and I know I'm doing the job that's meant for me.

So when I do something great - you bet your ass I own it. And when I fu(k up, I own it too. Then I learn from it, and move the hell on.

I have a terrible habit of getting mad at myself when I do things like this, but I try not to beat myself up too much. But this episode really put me into a bit of a funk - and it only got worse.

An hour later I got an email from our insurance broker telling me that I'd been denied my life insurance coverage. Awesome. How to really put some stank on the day.

It didn't get worse from there but it didn't get much better either. I kinda plugged away for the rest of the day, then shut 'er down right at 5 pm. So I could go back to the dank and dreary subway for my jolly trip home - how to end a day right. Especially since I knew Hubs was probably already at home after a nice drive in our warm car, sitting in his comfy clothes playing video games. While I shivered with the huddled masses.

Before you feel too sad for me my lovely diva friends, know that all was not lost. When I came home, popsicle-esque, Hubs was right at the door with a smile, a hug...and some pink roses. Awwww...such a good guy. They're currently sitting in a beer glass 'cause all the vases are packed - but they do make me smile every time I look up at them. And that's saying something, 'cause I was pretty pissy when I came home.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?