Wednesday, 24 January 2007

Me soooo sleepy

I'm tired. Not much longer before this diva hits the sheets for some well deserved rest. Last night's search for the illusive Coach briefcase (still no sad) had me up much longer than I'd anticipated, so I was already behind the proverbial eight ball before I even got started on the whole sleep thing.

I finally rolled into bedforshire sometime after midnight and was dismayed to hear the rumblings of Stompy and/or Giggles directly above my head. I think they're vampires. Or creatures that never sleep, 'cause they, well, never sleep. Doesn't matter how early or how late I happen to be up, they are too. How does that happen?

And how can one person have such a serious case of the dropsies? I mean really!!! Every two minutes something drops to the ground and causes my heart rate to spike. The curse of hardwood floor - no carpet to buffer the sound. And she has a rolling desk chair - of course! Nothing like the sound of another human being hurtling themselves across the room on casters to lull you to sleep at night. Brutal.

So back to last night. I finally get to bed, then have to endure the symphony that is Stompy upstairs and Hubs snoring beside me. He's had a two hour head start on me, so he's way off in la la land, sawing logs at a rate that would humiliate any logger worth his salt. So I lie there, frustrated to no end, knowing how much I need my sleep and how it's already slated to be an abbreviated rest since we have to get up at 6am. About an hour later I somehow manage to drift off amidst the racket all around me, and what seems like a millisecond later, my dreaded friend the alarm clock snaps me into Wednesday.

Then the real fun of the day is under way - I'm off with Hubs for his sperm analysis collection! Woo hoo! As I've previously mentioned, we're attempting to become 'in the family way' and are requiring some assistance. I've had all of my fun tests done - now it's Hubs' turn to submit a sample or two.

Poor guy. No, my tests have not been fun. They've been invasive, painful at times, embarrassing, time consuming and repetitive. But I've never had to 'perform' on command - and then bring back the output to prove that I've gotten the job done.

From the beginning he's wanted me to go with him. Some find this strange - this is something that apparently he should be quite used to doing on his own. And that my presence, while appreciated, was by no means a necessity. True, true. But he's been there for me at my appointments so when he asked, there was no question - of course I would be there to lend a hand, if that's what it took.

The process for the collection of specimens for sperm analysis proves to me without a shadow of a doubt that God is a woman, and this is Her way of beginning to balance the gender scorecard since we gals have to deal with periods and all that other fun stuff. Of course this one moment of humiliation doesn't come anywhere close to a lifetime of pads, cramps and 'accidents', but hey - at least She's trying. And yet again, I digress.

I won't go into too many details of how it all went, but suffice it to say that the cup was not returned in the same condition in which is was received, and on we went. It's funny - his appointment was one of the first of the day so there was only one other person in the waiting room when we arrived. My following Hubs into the wee little exam room garnered no reaction whatsoever.

The same can not be said for the status of the waiting room upon our exit. Packed. Oh yeah, to the rafters. And only one other woman there, sitting back, reading a book.

The human face is a miraculous much can be interpreted by the smallest of movements. I choose to believe that the vast majority of the emotions I witnessed on those male faces was jealousy. That's what got me out of that room, head held high, right behind a very proud looking Hubs.

So now, 15 hours later, I'm ready to hit the hay in an attempt to secure eight plus succulent hours of desperately needed diva beauty sleep. And like clockwork, Giggles and Stompy are at it again. They have company over tonight even - another voice and pair of feet to disturb my precious peace. Sigh...another 22 days until we move. That's what keeps me sane. Our new house is most definitely my mental happy place - it nothing else, at least it's quiet there.

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

PS In my selfish haste to fulfill my Coach dreams yesterday, I forgot to wish my dear friend JBJ a very happy birthday. I hope you had a wonderful day, and that you took it upon yourself to celebrate another year with a little melon lube. :)

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