Friday, 12 January 2007

My number one pet peeve...

Greetings, all! It's Friday, it's after 5pm, and I am in a right jolly good mood!

First, to put all your minds at ease, my stirrup inducing trip yesterday went pretty much as expected...she was an hour late (so late that I finished my book before it was my turn - drats!), there were indeed oven mitts over the evildoers (sunflowers on a green background - no cartoon cats in sight), and most importantly - everything appears to be a-okay. Just have to wait for the pathology to come back, but she says all looks good. Yippee!

Update over. Now on to my rant of the day.

We all have pet peeves. Things that really irk us. I have a few of them, and most of them are grammatical - yes, how snootish of me, I know, but deal. I hate it when people say 'youse guys' for example, or 'alls I want to know is'. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up when 'a lot' appears as one word. *shudder*. Like nails on a chalkboard! (Sludge is guilty of all of the above, I will add. Makes me mental).

But my number one pet peeve is people complaining about things they have complete control over - then doing nothing about it. Let's use Sludge as an example, shall we?

More info on Sludge. She's 34, the middle child, and her two siblings live down the street from her. Her sister is a ranging thunderc-u-n-t (can't even spell it all out properly but she deserves the moniker) and her brother is nice, but can't do much to help. Her mother passed away last summer very suddenly of a stroke, and her father...well, let's say her father is married to another woman, and has been since before she was born. She and her brother are the product of an adulterous relationship so needless to say daddy wasn't really around all that much.

Sludge has OCD. Not a huge, raging version, but enough to impact her life. She also has early stage breast cancer. She doesn't work (quit her evening job when her store manager wouldn't let her bring DeeDee in with her anymore), didn't finish high school, and has lied on her taxes in the past in order to qualify for social assistance. And she's on the verge of being evicted because she hasn't paid rent in over two months.

All in all, it's not the greatest life. At times I find myself feeling pity for her...her childhood growing up was one of struggle and she learned from her mother and her sister how to take advantage of the system (both found a way to get onto disability so they wouldn't have to work for their money) to survive. She was never given a strong work ethic by example, and so I realize that she had the chips stacked against her from the get go.

The problem is - she refuses to do anything about anything. When they first split up, Hubs offered many times to pay for her to go back to school, to train at something, to help her become self sufficient. She declined. She refuses to take the medication she requires for her OCD, and she suffers as a result. She rarely if ever goes for the cancer treatments her doctors have outlined for her - she's just too tired or it's too far or DeeDee wanted to stay home from school. We give her telephone numbers of volunteer drivers from the Canadian Cancer Society to get her to the cancer centre and back for free - and she doesn't call. We beg and beseech her to seek out programming for low income single mothers - the very people much of today's social policy is designed to help - and she just won't.

So my pity dries up rapidly when I hear her playing the 'poor me' card time after time after time. Yes, your life does suck right now. I get that. Yes, you are entitled to some 'feeling sorry for yourself' time. Wail, kick, scream, cry, fill your boots...but move the hell on! DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT BETTER! Accept people's help. Let them point you in the right direction. But for the love of all things holy, nothing and I mean nothing is going to get better because you just sit there and complain. No one is going to come along and hand you a job/money to pay your rent/a cure. And the sooner she sees that, the sooner she can be on her way to a new start.

I work hard for my money. I went to school and studied and worked towards my degrees. I have put lots of time into my career to get me where I am today - no one handed me anything! Yes, I had more advantages thanks to my family situation - but at least I answered the door when those opportunities knocked.

And that's all I ask of others in return. Take what life hands you and try to make the best of it. At least try - no one will fault you if you fail 'cause at least you tried to do something!! But the pity party ends the second you refuse to take control of your own life and expect the world do save you.

So, my dear, dear diva friends...the next time something truly crappy happens to you, complain, freak out, get pissed off, and cry. Then once you're done your waah waah routine, pick yourself up and do what you can to fix it. Don't come cryin to me unless you do. 'Cause I think you now have a pretty good idea the kind of response you're likely to get from me. And no one wants to see that, ya know?

And that's your daily dash. How's your diva doin'?

2 comments on "My number one pet peeve..."

Anonymous said...

Love your rant today...
I have a BIL who is the same way!!!

I agree with you 100%



Anonymous said...

Diva - I completely agree with you! Had a cousin who was very much like this - it drove me nuts that so many people helped her and she continually screwed up (i.e. did coke)... I stopped helping her ages ago (got tired of being used all the time). Well looks like she's finally on the right track... Is clean, has a job, has custody of her 2 kids, is gaining weight and going to the gym, actually has reasonable friends that aren't crackheads... etc...

Maybe one day Sludge will get a clue...




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